Though the drought that is ravaging several parts of the country at this time is not even remotely funny, the political circus has once again been activated and is providing ample entertainment. That people continue to suffer, thirst and starve, is peripheral to the Grand Jokership, sometimes known as the National Leadership.
Anyway, Jaal has out together this checklist of warning signs that a calamity may be amongst us.
First, the State Government, where the natural forces are at play, will start denying innocuous reports that appear tucked into the inside pages of vernacular dailies. These denials should be considered the first warning signal that tragedy could strike.
Then, the Central Government gets in the act and starts denying the reports that have now steadily started appearing more prominently and even in the major national dailies. This is alarm number 2, that things are getting out of hand.
Third, the Central Government acknowledges that there is a problem though it has been exaggerated by the media. If the affected state is ruled by an opposition party, the Government castigates it for not having undertaken any pre-emptive relief measures. If it is ruled by the ruling party at the Centre, then the Central Government commends it on its initiative and efficiency in considerably reducing the impact of the calamity. In either case, the Centre promises speedy action and disbursal of aid.
Fourth, the real fun begins when the Central departments start trying to figure out which one should be held responsible for not having forecast the calamity or having forestalled it. Once the calamity has occurred, bureaucrats engage in the critical exercise of damage containment, in other words, blaming someone else for the mess. Coterminus with this intense competition is that for gathering in large chunks the funds from the Central Relief Fund for supposed disbursal to the areas, that are by now desolate.
At the same time, these agencies keep tripping over each other in getting virtually nothing done. The focus of the concerned ministers and bureaucrats then veers over to appearing as often as possible before television cameras to give their version of how their department was prevented from getting anything done, or in lieu of that, how it wasn't their responsibility in the first place. Some obscure bylaw in a circular dating back to 1888 could be cited to substantiate this claim.
Fifth, the opposition parties in the affected state, more likely states, also get in to the action. They immediately demand that the Government resign thereby presuming that things could possibly function better in an administrative vacuum. Of course, this is followed by walkouts from the Assembly, dharnas, gheraos, bandhs and other forms of agitation. This leaves them with little time to get their own party workers to assist in the relief operations.
Sixth, the event now having assumed grave proportions, the Prime Minister seeks contributions to the relief fund from the public, the Government having emptied its coffers with delegations on important and urgent missions to various European nations. As he does so, the state Government, if ruled by an opposition party, will scream that funds are being blocked as part of a political conspiracy, so as to expose it before the public, more importantly, the voting public. If it is ruled by the ruling party, all major leaders, the State Cabinet and the Chief Minister will troop to Delhi to present their reports before the High Command.
Finally, after the calamity has passed from political (with its 10 second attention span) and public memory, after some statements have been made in Parliament, white papers laid, reports on remedial measures submitted and filed away, the situation returns to normal. Before, of course, the next tragedy.