Regular readers (all four of them) would have noticed how we have studiously ignored the upheaval in Fiji. Before someone uses a spycam and blows our cover, we ought to confess. We never mentioned Fiji because our research team just could not locate the damn place. After weeks of mindboggling research that boggled the mind, we finally sent someone out to buy an atlas. Now that we know where Fiji is, we can claim expertise in commenting on the ferment that has engulfed that island nation where men aren't men unless they wear skirts (in case you have no idea where it is, find out for yourself).
I. Fiji is an ethnic melting pot gone to pot: Ninety-five per cent of the Fijian population is made up of natives and Indians. In other words, Polynesians, Melanasians and South Asians. As with multi-ethnic communities sharing a small shred of land and smaller revenue, strife is alive and kicking.
2. Timoci Bavadra and all that: In 1987, Bavadra, a Fijian native decide to take on the Great Council of Chiefs, without their permission. He founded the reformist Taukei (Owners of the Land) movement that included Indians in the political process and became the Prime Minister. Indians featured in his Cabinet but the cabal of the Big Chiefs opted for the developing world solution to democratic problems; having the Army overthrow the Government. Bavadra has not been heard of since; is either dead or vacationing in Tahiti.
3. 10 Years After:After Big Chief Siteveni Rabuka had become bored of being an autocrat he decided to take a break and a new Constitution was enacted. This Constitution, surprisingly, allowed Indians the opportunity to not only participate in the Government but also to target the Prime Ministership. Allowing Indians anywhere near politics, as we know from our experience, is a recipe for disaster.
4. 1999 and Chaudhry Becomes PM: Mahendra Chaudhry, the leader of the Labour Party, has his roots in Haryana, though the sprouted in Fiji spouting homilies about the economic debacle the nation faced. Many Fijians, not only Indians, caught his drift and he logged into the popular consciousness. In the ensuing elections, his party captured 37 of the 71 seats in the House of Representatives. He became the PM.
5. Chaudhry Gets Going: On becoming the PM, Chaudhry did as all good politicians do, try and manipulate the system to suit their needs. So he disbanded the powerful Fijian Intelligence Service and replaced it with the Indo-Fijian heavy Police Special Branch. He also faced several charges of corruption and maladministration, but ignored them as the country's economy laboured under his regime.
6. Speight in Spate: Last month, George Speight, a failed businessman, decided that he had two options - either file for bankruptcy or take over the country. So he went for the simpler one - a hostile takeover. Along with armed goons, he barged into the Parliament, took Chaudhry and his Cabinet hostage and appointed himself the country's ruler.
7. Mara Goes On his cruise: Fijian President Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara was troubled over these developments though he thought of playing ball with Speight but Speight straight-batted all his lobs. In the event, Mara was ousted from his post by the military, and is currently understood to be peacefully whiling his time away on a yacht.
8. The Army and after: The military, as we mentioned, did what all good armies do, utilise the first available opportunity to impose Martial Law. The Chief Martial Law Administrator, a gentleman whose name is reminiscent of a popular girlie band of the 1980s that drooled over Robert de Niro, first threatened Speight. Then he realised that his trained force could not face off against Speight's mercenaries, and gave up and is trying to forge a compromise that could, at the very least, allow him to keep his stripes.
9. The Army and dafter: The apparent agreement between Speight and the Army revolved around transferring power to the Great Council of Chiefs (GCC), which, curiously enough, is led by one Siteveni Rabuka, who may just have tired of twiddling his thumbs instead of cracking the whip as he had become accustomed to. In Fijispeak, back to square one.
10. What does India do: Nothing, as usual. Our foreign office has condemned the take over by Speight, by the Army, and will condemn that by the GCC. An emissary was sent to Suva, to relay first-hand that nothing could be done. As the External Affairs Ministry's credo goes - doing nothing is something.
Point to note: Among Chaudhry's staunchest supporters is Haryana Chief Minister Om Prakash Chautala. Remember Meham. If you do. you'd wonder why he's so upset over the murder of democracy.