Earlier this year, we had presented The A To Z Of India In 2011. Hey, lots of stuff (and nonsense) happened since then. Things got worse. So, we’re back, with another go at recapping the year that was, which can variously be described as India’s Annus Horribilis or Annas Horribilis.

A is for Anna:

Jana gana mana adhinayaka jayahe,
Bharat bhrastachar virodhi,
Occupy Ram Lila aur fast karahe,
Magar agar daru piyoge,
To phir wo ho jaye krodhi.

B is for Bollywood:

More misses that hits,
More tits than wits,
And there’s still that travesty,
That Salman Khan’s out free,
Having his onscreen fits.

C is for Corruption:

Dishonesty’s the path to fortune,
That’s 2011’s theme tune,
A crore here and a 100 crore there,
What about the people? Who cares!

D is for Delhi:

One hundred years and counting, Delhi, best wishes,
But it still gets all the hisses,
Since it’s the political center,
Where sane, honest men are scared to enter.
And women are an endangered species.

E is for England:

Broad, Tremlett, et al, did simper,
India’s limp, we’ll make it limper,
“We’ll show ‘em”, Indians thundered,
Before the team meekly surrendered,
Without a bang, but a whimper.

F is for FDI:

Oppose foreign investment in retail,
Nah, not interested in details,
We’re the Opposition, always anti,
Even if our logic is often scanty.

G, H and I are only available for reserved categories, not for general category readers.

J is for Jail:

The hot spot for Cabinet meetings,
Where pols can exchange greetings,
Happily behind bars,
In stately Tihar,
Where they have enough seating.

K is for Kapil Sibal:

Delete that post, remove that comment,
Is Mr Zero Loss’s cross lament,
The Internet needs to be policed,
The Online cops unleashed,
Just as in the Chinese firmament.

L is for LokPal:

When there’s a way there’s a bill,
But when no party has the will,
Coz it kills the golden goose,
Of unrestrained ghoos,
The chances of it passing are nil.

M is for Mayawati:

Make more states out of UP,
Erect more statues, jaldi,
Reservations for all,
Politicians have a ball,
In the state of insanity.

N is for News:

This news bulletin is sponsored by X,
Arre, why’re the viewers so vexed?
24/7 news is a scripted show,
Scripted for those with the dough.

O is for Osama bin Laden:

The Lord of Abbottabad got his stash of porn,
And at America, thumbed his nose in scorn,
As the friendly ISI guarded him,
And the Pakis met every whim,
Till, of course, that fateful April morn.

P is for Poschimbongo:

Eeet ees time for change, Mamata said,
And the Bengal voters left the Left for dead,
So Mamata now rules the state,
And a new name was its fate,
But things stay the same, Trinamool or Red.

Q is for had to be eliminated due to the economic downturn.

R is for Rahul Gandhi:

Rahulbaba Rahulbabu, have you any wool?
Between my ears, you damn fool.
I’m the prince,
You’ll stay the paupers,
If the voters still think I’m cool.

S is for Sonia Gandhi:

Sonia, Sonia, how’s the cancer?
Congress spokesman: No answer
Sonia, Sonia, are you still fit to rule?
Congress spokesman: Don’t be cruel.

T is for Tendulkar:

Tendulkar wants a ton,
But can’t get on a run,
The 100th 100 seems far away,
As he seems to have lost his way,
Sometimes cricket can be no fun.

U is for Ultras:

More terrorist attacks, more deaths,
But our dear Sarkar sez,
Sorry, we was surprised,
We never ever realized,
That they was a threat!

V has been outlawed

W is for the World Cup:

The Cup that cheered, for a while,
Brought upon Indian faces, a smile,
Dhoni’s men did us proud,
At the Wankhede ground.

X is for X-pired:

Goodbye Shammi Kapoor, Goodbye Mr Guide,
This was the year, the joy of films died.
Goodbye Mario Miranda,
Goodbye Bhupen Hazarika,
It was a fun, melodious ride.

Y is for Yatra:

Still a PM wannabe?
Old man, LK Advani?
Sure, why not? Gee!
I can still ride a rath, see?

Z is for Zzzzz:

Midnight madness with the MPs,
Can a Bill become an Act?
Is that fiction or is that fact?
Nah, we don’t give in so cheap,
Wouldn’t you rather be asleep?