You are here: Slips And Googlies Of IPL 2011
- No Pakistanis: No actually, that’s not a great loss. But, we have to admit, the entertainment factor would have been greatly enhanced if one of the franchises had recruited Kamran Akmal. Akmal, of course, has plenty of free time since the Pakistan selectors have returned the favour by dropping him from the team. Imagine if he were playing! There could be a dedicated Kamran Cam. And it could be sponsored, say Amul Butterfingers. But, of course, the void has been somewhat filled by the collective efforts of the Kolkata Knight Riders.
- Sreesanth’s Hairdo: His locks have something in common with his bowling, both are all over the place. Since he is the poster boy of the Kochi Tuskers, there’s the inherent danger of an outbreak of Hair Disaster throughout Kerala.
- The Sahara Parivar: If you thought the Lalit Modi was a pain, wait till you get your fill of the modest ways of the Roys, who now have their own platform, the Pune contingent. It may have been apt to call the team, the Pune Ponzis.
- Delhi Doldrums: A team that promises as much excitement as a day spent watching Parliamentary proceedings. Look at is this way, Anna Hazare fasting at Jantar Mantar is bound to be far more entertaining than this squad.
- Shane Warne’s Botox Treatment: No really, no one can actually look like that without his face being pumped full of chemicals. He looks like a picture, unfortunately something by MF Husain, of horses.
- Identity Crisis: It’ll take quite a while for actual followers of the IPL to figure out which team they are expected to support, since the turnover of players has meant that almost every franchise is as appealing as cold chai. The players switching teams is as confusing as politicians changing parties and not half as much fun.
- SRK: He has unfortunately again managed to put together a team that has as much cricketing talent as he has acting ability.
- The Missing Windies: It’s strange that no franchise bid on the most flamboyant left-hander of his generation, one utterly destructive on his day. No, hang on, we’re not talking about Chris Gayle, but Brian Lara. Superannuated Aussies are fine (see Gilchrist and Warne), not Carribeans?
- The Logos: Most of the team uniforms feature more sponsors’ logos than an F1 car. Since there’s rarely enough space for a player’s name, viewers end up thinking that unfamiliar new players are named Parle G or Vodafone or Gobardhan Hanumandas & Sons.
- Providing an excuse for dumb articles like this one: Enough said.
[ First published: April 10, 2011
Last updated: April 16, 2011
]
Bihari on the train
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