You are a desi if:
· Your house smells like fried onions.
· When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
· There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
· You make tea in a saucepan.
· You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
· You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
· You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
· Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
· You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
· You hide everything from your parents.
· Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
· You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
· Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
· Everyone is a family friend.
· Everyone always called you for help on homework.
· You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
· You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.
· You know no one who has studied music.
· You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
· You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
· Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
· You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
· You like the pizza well done.
· You eat onions with everything.
· You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
· You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
· You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
· You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
· You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
· You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
· You secure your baggage with a rope.
· You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
· You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
· You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
· You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
· Everyone you know drives Japanese car.