A middle aged Desi couple Kokiben and Jagabhai had just recently been
sponsored by their relatives and moved to New York, USA. They started a small
newspaper stand at a subway station with hectic life. Anxiety, age, exertion, new
country had let Jagabhai loose his sex drive. Smartly enough Jagabhai kept
deceiving Kokiben by lies that she had grown so ugly that he would deny himself sex
with her. He would accept not terms unless Kokiben was to transform into Aishwarya Rai.
Rejection made Kokiben felt insecure, insulted and angry. Sexual physiological cravings drove her to American Justice System. She sued Jagabhai for denying and violating her conjugal rights.
The case got huge attention of the world. Front page on Time printed "Desi versus Desi". Political leaders openly took sides. Hillary Clinton sided with Jagabhai calling it a freedom of insanity in America.
Once the most powerful man in the world Bill Clinton siding with Kokiben said, "I was dumb and helpless when my conjugal rights were violated and I was driven to Monica.". Narendra Modi took full credit for himself for the progress of Gujaratis in America.
Judge asked Jagabhai, his reasons. Jagabhai winked at Judge and in whispering voice with cupped hand blocking his voice towards Kokiben, softly told Judge, "Your honor, my Erectile is dysfunctional. Just to keep my false pride up, I am lying to Koki."
Judge made a sign of 'V' with his fingers, meaning why don't you take Viagra. Jagabhai responded in sign showing empty pockets meaning, 'I don't have money'. Judge knowing the background of couple decided even if Jagabhai was to be given Viagra for ten rupees a pill instead of ten dollars a pill this Desi would not spend it on sexual needs of Koki.
So he turned to Kokiben. He told her in a shivering voice, "Madame Kokiben, I fully sympathize with your physical condition. My own conjugal rights are violated in my house for last couple years. But, If I complain then people would think, 'If a judge can not give justice to himself, how can he give justice to others?' They will vote me out and I can become unemployed."
Then he turned to Jagabhai, and blasted at him in a thundering voice, "Mr. Jaga, it is the ruling of this court that you perform at least semi-annually."
Victorious Kokiben was hilarious. Outside the court she nudged her elbow at Jagabhai and told him, "Didn't I tell you, that you would loose in American Justice System? I defeated you. I showed you up."
Then she clung to Jagabhai's arm smiling and pampering his muscles, and told him, "Now we have to go home and I have to prepare some sweet saffron pistachio milk for you. But before we start to it could you tell me, how many times a week this semi-annually is?"