The new India of booms and busts (courtesy the expanding silicone implant industry), has also spawned it own species of Facebook fiends and Twitter twits who bear the mark of the neo-liberal. They’re really difficult to describe because their true roots lie in the latest consumer crush. But they have pretensions (plenty of those) to socialist ideals, while being pretentious socialites. Jaalmag.com is proud to introduce this hybrid new breed – the Socialista. Here are some of their defining characteristics:

Facebook: They join all the nice-sounding and well-meaning Facebook groups. From fighting corruption and saving the tiger to AFSPA and Posco. They haven't the faintest clue that their high-energy lifestyle and jingoistic beliefs stand contrary to the ideologies behind these groups.

Candles: When someone mentions protests to tells them, they think of candles. When someone talks of candles, they think of protests. They have a two-track mind.

Mobile: They can be identified by their cellphone use. They have no qualms in fishing it out anywhere to make or receive a call: In cinema halls, at dinners, conferences, even in public bathrooms. And when people scowl at them, they are pretty sure the frowners are the ones who are in the wrong. They change handsets regularly, and flaunt it at all those who can't afford a similar or better one. They also brag about possessing Ipads and Kindles, even though these gadgets may never actually be used.

Hot! Awesome! Cool!: They are severely challenged when it comes to the language, especially usage of descriptives. They cannot think beyond 'hot', 'awesome' and 'cool'. These three words can pull them out of trouble anywhere, anytime. They never fumble for words.

Shantaram: They read weird books and are more than likely to visit Jaipur for the lit fest. And when people talk of books, they ask, "Have you read Shantaram?" If people pose the counter-question about Rajaram Vankudre, they are met with derision.

Proud to be Indian: They remember their national pride for all the wrong reasons: When a T3 terminal is inaugurated in Delhi; when they watch a glitzy CWG opening ceremony on television. They conveniently forget that they are also Indians when told that 70 per cent women in India cannot afford sanitary napkins because they are to poor to afford any.

Foreign Trips: They often go gallivanting abroad post photographs from the jaunts on Facebook. They remember to tag all those who can never afford to go out on one. But, of course, they would never have visited a village.

Sushi: When they go out to eat, it’s never Indian food. Sushi is the favourite. Or something called dimsum.

Minorities: They have a morbid tendency to sound politically correct. Usually this is confined to defending minorities for anything and everything. They will all the Facebook groups that want Narendra Modi to be hanged, but cannot muster the courage to condemn the violence one saw in the aftermath of the publication of the Danish cartoons.

Number 10: If you are one, you wouldn't really be reading this. You wouldn't have gotten this far.