You are here: 10 Myths About The Osama Bin Laden Killing
Myth: Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari must be crapping in his pants.
Truth: Not at all, everyone knows that the Army and the ISI wear the pants in the Pakistan establishment.
Myth: OBL did not have an Internet or telephone connection.
Truth: He did, since he regularly surfed Jihadi Girls Are Da Bomb, but the services were disconnected when his “personal courier” didn’t pay the bill on time.
Myth: OBL thought it was the pizza delivery man knocking on his door.
Truth: OBL never ordered a pizza. He was expecting DVDs of Jihadi Girls Are Da Bomb, which he had ordered after his Internet service was disrupted.
Myth: OBL lived in a million dollar mansion in Abbotabad.
Truth: Big deal. A million dollar mansion in nothing in a town populated by opulent retirees from the Pakistan Armed Forces and a popular summer resort.
Myth: With this coup, the controversy over US President Barack Obama’s birth certificate is over.
Truth: Perhaps. But now The Donald will demand OBL’s death certificate.
Myth: There’s something fishy here if the Pakistan Government didn’t even know that OBL was alive and kicking in a plush suburb of the country’s capital, Islamabad.
Truth: The Pakistan Government rarely even knows what’s going on in Isloo, let alone the rest of the country.
Myth: The ISI “could not be trusted” with details of the American operation.
Truth: Absolutely unfair. The ISI had given specific details of the cave where OBL had been living for years. At least, the bears are safe now.
Myth: Pakistan will now be forced to disclose the location of the perpetrators of 26/11.
Truth: Never. They’ve long been relocated to the warren of caves vacated by OBL. Poor bears.
Myth: That’s really not OBL. Remember Tere Bin Laden?
Truth: No, it really is. OBL’s stand-in had Sundays off because Al Qaeda was too cheap to pay overtime.
Myth: Is that really OBL? His hair seems too black for a man of his age.
Truth: Absolutely. He was careful about his appearance and dyed his hair regularly. After all, he was the “Most Wanted Man” in the world.
[ First published: May 2, 2011
Last updated: May 2, 2011
]
The Beggar
Two college students, Akshay and Sunil, are sititng in a taxi in Mumbai when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Akshay adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Sunil, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of notes and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues to other taxis. Akshay is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" yells Akshay. "You know he's only going to use it on cigarattes and alcohol."
Sunil replies, "And we weren't?"
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