You are here: David Coleman Headley Exposed
As we all know there is media hysteria in India over David Coleman Headley. That's perfectly justified. After all, he's one dangerous dude. He's a superterrorist and an evil genius. As we have learnt, not only did he plan attacks on India, he may have been involved in the 26/11 attacks, in the explosion in STD cases in Bollywood, and responsible for the high price of vegetables! But there are other scary facts about him that are being revealed now:
1. Not only does he have one green and one blue eye, he also has three testicles, one of them shaped square.
2. Not only is he apparently as ISI agent, he may even have been a CIA mole, and most terrifyingly, an LIC agent.
3. Not only is he related to a Pakistani diplomat and possibly to the PRO of Pakistan's Prime Minister, his dog may have peed in the very spot where Musharraf once stood and thought up the Kargil misadventure.
4. Not only did he operate a visa racket, he may even be a Mastercard telemarketer who specialized in calling homes just as his targets sat down for dinner.
5. Not only did he have liaisons with some Bollywood nymphets, he may even be Salman Khan's secret love and was thus driven to execute Shah Rukh Khan's embarrassing encounter at Newark Airport.
6. Not only is he a cricket fan, he may even be part owner of one of the expansion teams of the IPL – the Kashmir Curfew.
7. Not only did he plan his vile deeds via email, he may also be behind the bulk of the spam promising you penis and breast enhancement.
8. Not only is he the "missing link", he may even predate Ardi and Lucy based on tests on his DNA.
9. Not only did he possibly visit Meerut, Gujarat, even the Osho Ashram, he may even have traveled to Arunachal Pradesh and sparked off the border crisis between India and China.
10. Not only is he of Pakistani and Caucasian descent, he may even be 1/16th Klingon, 1/48th Smurf and 1/112th paracetomol.
[ First published: May 26, 2011
Last updated: May 26, 2011
]
The Beggar
Two college students, Akshay and Sunil, are sititng in a taxi in Mumbai when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Akshay adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Sunil, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of notes and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues to other taxis. Akshay is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" yells Akshay. "You know he's only going to use it on cigarattes and alcohol."
Sunil replies, "And we weren't?"
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