Once upon a time, you really hadn't arrived in Indian politics unless you'd had footwear hurled at you. But things change fast in politics and the flavour of the day is the slap.

And, as ever, the Chinese are watching (or reading your emails). And sensing an opportunity, they want to jump in to the fray, as this recent email from a Chinese manufacturer again proves. Beware not the foreign hand, but the foreign headwear!

Dear Sir, Madam, Etc.,

Let me know you thusly. My name is Hu Nao from Chongqing and I am here to serve your head. Both head, if you be two-faced. As we Chinese know, very important to save face, more important, if two faces are there.

You may know me thusly before. We offered to serve your foot, even if foot was in mouth.

Indian politics nice and spicy, even though we never elect anyone, just erect statues. But we are happy to serve your latest tradition.

We are manufacturers of top quality helmets, that is good to wear. We offer many variety of helmets for your considerate consideration.

Most important for senior Government Ministers, we are giving quality Gandhi helmets. They be of white colouring and shaped like political topi on top. At bottom, it have visor or face mask, as you see in your cricket. (We not understand cricket either)

If not Gandhi topi, we offer more stuffs. Like Nehru cap like helmet. For those of the dynasty and its followers. It’ll cap your career and save you from red face. People not see your face through opaque face guard when you lie and, most importantly, not able to slap face.

These are most expensive items but you can buy in bulk and we have started accepting many many forms of payment including telecom contracts.

We offer them in bulk discount specially for large rallies held by big Ministers. Our modern machinery has tested these shoes for maximum impact. Nothing less should do for big Ministers. Left overs from rallies can be used at press conferences. We supply dozen helmets for only Rs 1200 if you order now. Buy fastly as we peg price of helmets to Indian inflation and vegetable prices (which not mean rate of bribe to Ministers).

If stylish she Ministers or younger Ministers not like old style stuffs we offer modernistic helmets, two. Formula helmets like worn on race tracks are one options. They will always make you feel in driver’s seat. Another options is, as we say before, is cricket helmets, though we are confused how insects wear them.

Do not go to rallies without our goods, do not exit or enter courts without our protection.

We have fine modernist plants to process your orders quickly. Hurry and order now and avail bigly sales. Please send bank details, credit cards number, expiration deaths, credit limits, copies of signatures and a small advance of Rs 50 lakh and your next door neighbour’s gladioli. All sales safely handled by our trusty agents in Nigeria.

Hu Nao
Assistant Associate Planner of Helmets
Eternal Rising Joyful Internotional
Sinaheads007@sina.com
TEL: 0086-23-67625435
FAX: 0086-23-67625443
URL: http://www.erjihelmets.com
ADDRESS: Nan Qiao Si, Jiang Bei District, Chongqing, PRC