Yahoo: (n) not very intelligent or interested in culture. Which, of course, describes us perfectly. Not only has been Jaalmag.com been acquired by a bunch of yahoos, it was always owned and operated by yahoos. And if you know your Jonathan Swift, you’ll know why what we carry on this website smells. Which, of course, brings us to the unfortunate news. No, we’re not shutting down. We’ve just completed five years and keep on pandering our excrement relentlessly. Talk about virtual diarrhea. When we started out, we didn’t think we would survive five years. In fact, five hours was a big ask, especially when, minutes before launch, we found that our designer had decamped to Outer Mongolia, pursuing a misbegotten love affair with a yak. But we strove nevertheless and here we are, plodding along. In the years that have passed, Jaalmag.com has been phenomenally successful. We get as many as three visitors each day, though the search engine results tell us that they come to us looking for ‘Naked Indian Babes’ or ‘The Philosophy Of Heidegger.’ We’re still trying to figure out the connection there. Plenty of websites have linked to us, and one of them has even survived that course in online suicide. We have also featured several well-known writers and cartoonists and they have been thrilled with the exposure that Jaalmag.com has given them. If you find a person walking around the streets wearing dark glasses, a false mustache and a burqa, that’s probably one of our contributors, who, in a momentary lapse of reason allowed his or her photograph to be published on the website. We have great new plans for Jaalmag.com. Among them, to make money, a plan that we’ve assiduously followed over the past few years and we’re proud of say that we’ve raked in a total of Rs 1.34 mistakenly mailed to us by someone looking for ‘Naked Indian Babes’ or it may have been payment for an edition on the philosophy of Heidegger. And we still have great plans. A Jaal Blog is in the offing as soon as we figure out what a blog is. The Jaal E-Cards should be functional, again. And, hopefully, you’ll soon be able to download electronic versions of the six Jaal books that were published through 2002-03. We’re not sure how many copies have actually sold, though we get quarterly statements from the publisher begging us to take away the remaindered copies left in the godown. Our success has been noted worldwide, as you’ll see in the wealth of email that we’ve received in recognition of our contribution to Indian humour and satire. The Indian Humorists and Satirists Society has even offered to give us a lifetime achievement award if we were to disavow any connection to it. So, go on ahead and keep enjoying Jaalmag.com. Even if you loathe the website, spread the bad word around. After all, why should you suffer alone?
Two college students, Akshay and Sunil, are sititng in a taxi in Mumbai when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Akshay adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Sunil, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of notes and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues to other taxis. Akshay is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" yells Akshay. "You know he's only going to use it on cigarattes and alcohol."
Sunil replies, "And we weren't?"