PM MMS, often referred to as PMS, resigned, according to usually unreliable sources. The sources, who are likely to be revealed in a future Wikileaks document or a Niira Radia conversation, pointed out that he had mentioned his resignation in a letter to the Chairperson of the UPA.

“It’s very serious. Seriously serious, not like when the Government says it is taking something seriously,” one source said. He said that the Prime Minister had been heard muttering words like “Congress”, “Coalition”, “Corruption” and “Constipation”.

“PMS is tired of the constant need to respond to the Opposition’s accusations of corruption in Parliament and outside. He would rather be in Washington, where he is feted as a visionary and asked for advice by the Barack Obama Administration, which may also explain why America’s debt is over $12 trillion or almost as much as Warren Buffett makes when he drools over an Omaha steak,” is a quote we would have attributed to a source if it hadn’t been completely made up.

A copy of the letter that PMS sent to the occupant of 10 Jhat Pat, with a CC marked to her progeny, says, “Dear Madam, I am completely resigned to the fact that there’s very little I can do about corruption in this Government. It’s always this or that. If it’s not Suresh Kalmadi and the Commonwealth Games, it’s Sheila Dikshit and the Commonwealth Games. If it’s not some housing society, it’s some other lousy society. Sometimes it’s Raja and 2G, other times some other Ministerji. What to do? I’m resigned to this state of affairs. So, I have decided to completely ignore any charges of corruption, scams, bribes, kickbacks, in the future. I have given my book of handy Urdu verses to the kabadiwallah. Also, I humbly apologise for using the terms birthright and Prime Minister in the same sentence.”

It now appears increasingly likely that the nation’s focus may actually move away from corruption, at least for a while. In a masterstroke, the Government has decided to focus instead on talks with Pakistan. “We know that nothing will happen with our dear friendly neighbour, but it is far better than nothing happening over corruption,” one source said.

“The Opposition is anti-national when it keeps harping on taint. You have to understand that with such high inflation, our leaders can barely afford a personal jet. Some of them have even had to exchange their gold for onions,” a senior Congress leader said. He went on to add, “They should have some national pride. The Pakistan Government is led by a President who is known as Mr 10 Per Cent. That’s all, just 10 per cent! When it comes to us, we give 100 per cent…er…take 100 per cent.”

The PMS’ resignation over the fact of continued corruption has gained widespread support within his Council of Ministers. One minister from a coalition partner that has promised free BMWs to voters, said, “If he is resigned, we are all collectively resigned. So there.”