The world hasn't come to a rapturous end, but I am still running scared. There are scarier things that might happen. And I might well live to see them happen. Here's sharing some of these scary thoughts.

Chetan Bhagat: Chetan Bhagat is such a rage that he might win a Jnanpeeth Award for his contribution to Indian literature in whatever language that he now writes in. It's not English, you and I know, but the problem is that his unsuspecting readers don't. I have this morbid fear that all his TOI opinion articles may even be brought out as a collection by Rupa.

Rahul Gandhi: The clown prince of the Congress might well become Prime Minister. Possibly as early as 2014. He's often ashamed to be an Indian, we might well be ashamed of him being a Prime Minister. He will have a one-point agenda: of hijacking people's movements. He's done it with Niyamgiri and Bhatta Parsaul, for instance.

Arindam Chaudhuri: Winning consecutive national awards is not easy. But ponytailed Arindam Chaudhuri has won for the last three years. Now he might well win the Dadasaheb Phalke Award for outstanding contribution to Indian cinema. He might soon launch a films channel. All those who study at IIPM will have to watch this channel as part of their curriculum. Worse, Chaudhuri might also launch a UGC-type channel.

JP Dutta: Now that JP Dutta has told us that Dabangg is all about family values, and keeping in mind changing social mores, this man whose intellectual convictions know no Border, might well become our Minister for Social Welfare.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali: Given the official sanction for remakes, Sanjay Leela Bhansali might want to remake Pather Panchali. He doesn't like poverty, so there will be no poverty in the film. The poor, like poverty, will be thrown out of the film. Durga and Apu will be going to Doon School. The film will be shot in black. The film will be his vision of Bibhutibhushan's story.

CBI: The Jawaharlal Nehru Award for International Understanding one of these next times will go to an organisation: the Central Bureau of Investigation.

Shobhaa De: Shobhaa De (she might well be spelling the name a different way by then) has this bright chance of winning the Commonwealth Writers' Prize for the Best First Book. Yes, she hasn't written anything so far that can be called a book. And yes again, this time her literary venture will be in English.

Poonam Pandey: For all you know, Poonam Pandey might threaten to strip if India wins the football world cup. Now don't laugh, will you? None of us ever dreamt that the Left Front could be ousted from West Bengal and Ben Ali from Tunisia. It happened, no? I tell you, never tempt fate.

Pritam: Pritam could come out with his own version of Jana Gana Mana. He will insist that he has not copied it from anywhere, and the gullible Indian sods will buy it. Literally. He will be hailed as the Modern Indian Tansen. He might even start writing poems.

Myself: Given the new Information Technology Rules Act 2011, this piece might be censored.