The procedure is fairly simple - merge the existing "major" rates of duty into five rates. Surely, that simplifies things. Make things even simpler by removing the special customs duty of five per cent imposed over the last two years. But that would be betraying both the babu who depends on complicated tax structures and the swadeshi, you would, with your usual sharpness, point out. Right as you are, dear surfer, you have jumped the gun.

Yashwant Sinha is not yet done with his rationalisation. He in effect merges the existing rates of zero and five per cent to make them both five per cent, 10 and 15 to make them 15, 20 and 25 to reach 25, 30 and 35 to reach 35. A clever bit of swadeshi economics which adds about 5 per cent of customs duties to a host of items, but too brazen you might suggest. That cynical comment is simply dealt with - just reduce the seventh major rate from 45 to 40 per cent. Peak duty rates are down! But what about the survival of the babu? There's something in it for him too.

Just in case you thought it is as simple as adding the customs duty rate to the import price, sit back and learn the ropes. To the imported price, add the basic duty (5,15,25,35 or 40 per cent if it is one of the major heads or 10,32, 142,276…..if it is one of several minor rates). Next add the countervailing duty to the amount thus reached. Having done that, add the special additional duty of four per cent imposed across the board last year. Finally, add a surcharge of 10 per cent on the tax component and you have your final price.

Simple isn't it. It should yield you effective duty rates like 7.3425 per cent and 29.2143 per cent, rounded off here to the fourth decimal place for constraints of space. Also, please check to see whether the item you are interested in is one of those exempt from the surcharge or not, whether its rates have been altered to cater to the WTO obligations etc. This rational exercise also has the benefit of yielding an additional Rs 1,469 crore and if you think it sounds too complicated, there's clearly an irrational streak in you.

But how does a Finance Minister address the basic needs of an entire nation of poor without spending? That is even more simple and rational. It calls for a four-pronged strategy.

Prong 1 consists simply of merging a whole lot of existing schemes for poverty alleviation, rural development employment generation etc.

Prong 2, which is truly crucial, consists of getting rid of all existing names for these programmes (particularly if they involve a Gandhi or a Nehru) and substituting them with alliterative names or those containing more popular and well-known names like Deen Dayal Upadhyay.

Prong 3 involves asking public sector banks to support these programmes (if that contradicts his own rhetoric of letting the public sector function autonomously and on commercial lines, he just hopes nobody notices).