10 Internet Polls That Should Be Taken

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1. Which party will you vote for in the 1999 Lok Sabha elections? a) The BJP b) The Congress c) Bina Ramani's next bash at the Qutub Colonnade d) Sorry, but we Martians don't vote e) Is it time to vote again? 2. Who would you like to see as the next Prime Minister? a) Atal Behari Vajpayee b) Sonia Gandhi c) Madhuri Dixit d) The Supreme Martian Urrk e) Al-faridi Gnumann 3. What should we do with Pakistan? a) Nuke it b) Live with it in peace and harmony c) Excuse me, but I have to go to the bathroom d) Is it edible? We Martians are great foodies e) Right, I'm back from the bathroom now. What was the question again? 4. Have you read Arundhati Roy's God of Small Things? a) Haan b) Nahin c) I tried to d) Oh! Read? We Martians loved it with extra mustard e) No, But I do read (hehe) porno mags in the loo. Does that count? 5. Do you think Shah Rukh Khan can act? a) Da b) Nyet c) Well, maybe, but George Fernandes is better d) We Martians love his films. He does exhibit the three basic emotions - hammy, hammier and hammiest e) There's more ham in him that in a piggery 6. Do you think the future of India cricket is bright? a) Yup b) Nope c) I'm more interested in cockroaches, actually d) Of course. How can you doubt that? We Martians seek two small clarifications - what is Indian? And what is cricket? e) As long as the team doesn't play any matches, it is 7. Do you think there's intelligent life on Mars? a) Yes b) No c) Perhaps d) Obviously, what do you think we are? e) Do you think there's intelligent life on Earth? 8. Do you think Internet polls are any good? a) Oui b) Non c) Let me think about it d) You bet. We Martians love them with a little sauce, especially if they are broiled e) I agree with the 43 per cent of respondents who said Don't Know/ Can't Say 9. Do you feel stupid doing this Internet poll? a) Ja b) Nein c) Boo hoo! You insulted me d) I felt stupid yesterday, but stupid slapped me e) I never feel stupid; I vote for the BJP 10. Which is your favourite website? a) Jaal b) www.jaalmag.com c) Ummm… it's that e-zine. Y'know, that one? The four-lettered one, that starts with a J and rhymes with Baal d) Jaal, obviously. We Martians write all the articles e) Sorry, I don't read Jaal. May I go now and quietly and remorsefully commit suicide?

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