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Dear Jaal,
You guys are just great in bringing out the real Indian politics on the web. I liked your Indian Pakis jokes and include more of them if you can. Keep doing this work until and unless those assholes in the capital wake up and do some serious business. Also the Slang Match topics are just great.
Transemirates (bhaviraj@emirates.net.ae)
Jaal: We do try. Unfortunately, most people just find us trying.
- Editor
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Dear Jaal,
You guys have been great in bringing out the real Indian politics and all those Slang Match topics are just great. Continue with this job until and unless those assholes in the Parliament (hung, I mean to say) get some brains to work for national interest.
Jaal: Hey, are you guys Siamese twins or something? Anyway, what do you mean till ``those assholes get some brains to work for national interest.'' You think we want to spend the rest of our lives slogging away for this lousy zine???
- Editor
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Dear Jaal,
You F__king White mans ass kissing, non-patriotic, insecure motherfu__ers without a national identity, national pride or even self-pride, SUCK MY BIG BROWN y'know what...
GET of your intellectual book-reading mother fu__ing ass and do something FOR YOUR COUNTRY.
If in your most flighted fantasies ever thought you possessed marbles for nuts THEN DO SOMETHING AND STOP talking shit. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO SHIT - THEN STOP TALKING SHIT!!!!
I SURE AM GOING TO, and I'm going to whupp your ASSES if you'all don't stop using your Fu__ing brains to f_ck your own country.
IF YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION - THEN YOU ARE PART OF MY PROBLEM.
R K S Raja (RKSRAJA@aol.com)
Jaal: Ah! Such beauty of language, such elegant composition, such Shakespearean lilt. A man, we're sure, after Nawaz Sharif's heart (look what he did to Friday Times' Editor Najam Sethi). Just one little question, you mentioned your you know what, don't you know what it is?
- Editor
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Dear Jaal,
Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren.
Ich möchte gerne bei Ihnen eine Website instalieren.Hierzu habe ich aber noch einige Fragen.Was kostet das bei hnen pro Monat oder Jahr.Wie groß darf die Website sein.Sie sollte nicht in Deutschland zu sehen sein.Sie darf nicht Down zu laden sein.Mit was für einem cash master arbeiten sie zusammen.Für Informationen in Deutsch wäre ich Ihnen sehr dankbar.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
AuW
Wolfgang Korbach (Wolfgang.Korbach@main-rheiner.de)
Jaal: Right! And we just hope that you haven't been abusing us since we didn't get a word of this mail.
- Editor
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Dear Jaal,
Three centering techniques used by sannyasins at Osho Commune International in Pune can save India's cricket dignity and bring a renewed sense of sporting spirit, relaxation and emotional balance to the nation's cricket team, said Swami Satya Vedant, Chancellor of Osho Multiversity.
"Osho's vision is not concerned with victory or defeat, but certainly he is in favor of people remaining calm, centered and relaxed in whatever they are doing," Swami Vedant explained.
"The three techniques are all connected with the body's center of balance point, known as the 'hara,' which is located in the lower belly, three finger widths below the navel. The hara has been used for hundreds of years
in Japan as the basis for all martial arts, including Kung Fu, Karate, Aikido and T'ai Chi," Vedant added.
"These techniques are used regularly in our Multiversity faculty for teaching martial arts. They will immediately help to settle the team and bring back their talents," he added. "These methods may seem a little odd or unusual, but when you do them you will immediately feel their centering effect."
The three techniques, modified for cricket, are as follows:
1) Balancing a cricket bat on your head, walk slowly across the room or field, focusing your attention on your hara, or balance point, just below the navel. Do this for ten minutes. Stay relaxed and calm as you walk, breathing slowly and deeply.
2) Two players stand opposite each other, at a distance of one cricket bat. Place one end of the cricket bat in your own hara point, and the other end in the hara of your partner. Come slowly together so that the pressure from your two bodies keeps the bat in place without using your hands. Then, one partner walks slowly forward while the other walks slowly backwards, always maintaining sufficient pressure to keep the bat in place. Do this for ten minutes.
3) On the field of play, whenever there is a break in the action, bend very slightly at the knees, relax your belly and breath slowly and deeply, imagining as you inhale that the air goes all the way down into your hara. Do this throughout the match.
"If these things happen -- centering, balance -- many things will follow. He will always be at ease. Whatsoever situation, the at-easeness will not be lost. I say whatsoever the situation -- unconditionally, the at-easeness will not be lost, because one who is at the center is always at ease." - Osho.
Swami Chaitanya Keerti (keerti@osho.net)
Jaal: But we thought our players had already mastered the technique of hara. Anyway, if they were any more relaxed they'd probably be comatose.
- Editor
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I want to subscribe to Jaal. If you've any other e-zine, let me know.
Shubham Pachauri (pachauri@crosswinds.net)
Jaal: Sure thing. We have no other e-zine and most people consider that a good thing.
- Editor
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