Jaal learns that the number of marriages to be solemnised in India next year is likely to drop significantly. Because of what some pandits have been saying - that the year 2000 is inauspicious for marriages as it has three 'shunya' (zeroes) in its number. If you do get married, despite their warnings, you are likely to suffer death (or, if you're lucky, your spouse will).
Only in India could such a dire warning be taken seriously. What do you do in a country where the Prime Minister performs a havan before embarking on his new tenure? Where the Human Resources Development Minister Murli Manohar Joshi extols the virtues of Vedic mathematics? Only in India do hordes of crackpots attack Christians because the Leader of Opposition is one. Basically, you say that the problem is not whether India is Y2K compliant, but whether it can pull itself out of the Y1K morass.
It looks unlikely. So all we can do is hope for marriages to take place in 2000, and hope that the pandits are right.
Since we at Jaal are a bunch of cowards, we too advise people not to get married in 2000. In fact, we advise people never to get married! Instead, they should just live in sin. That way, the sex is better. And, if they do decide to get married despite Jaal's advisory to the contrary, after marriage there are other Y1K options available for couples.

The first of them, of course, has been recently rejuvenated by one Charan Shah in Uttar Pradesh; whether voluntarily or not. However, environmental concerns must also be born in mind; or should we say, bornfired in mind. Dara Singh has been a true trailblazer in this respect. An avenue towards conserving scarce fuelwood is through burning couples together. Call it husbanding resources. Even as one glorious tradition has been kept alit, another one remains aflame. Yes, dowry deaths survive despite meddlesome laws and devout in-laws mollify the gods by not even waiting for their sons to die. Fortunately, support has come forth from the Government in this venture, even if unwittingly, through subsidisation of kerosene.
We should also be proud that Manu lives and has been duly honoured by a succession of governments. We no longer cast a vote, but vote a caste. In an era of competitive politics, politicians now have to pander to sub-sub-sub-castes following the ever-popular dictum of divide and rule. The Communist brigade should also be pleased a this development, for it fulfils the Marxist agenda of creating a truly classless society.
And, if you believe that we are not regressing to the Dark Ages, you obviously do not live in an Indian city, let alone a village. But we at Jaal are confident that the power outages that are briefly interrupted by electricity supply have been masterminded by electricity board officials with a happy motive. Power corrupts and absolutely power corrupts absolutely, and keeping this truism in mind, these benefactors are trying to ensure that the scourge of corruption is wiped away from India. More power (or should that be less?) to them.
So, as you celebrate the new millennium, one year in advance, ask yourself one little question - which millennium is it that our country is entering? We wish you all a happy Y1K.