I. Declare Pakistan A Terrorist State: With Shoaib Akhtar hurling missiles at the Indians, is there any doubting the pressing need for such a proviso? This should also be aligned to the CTBT (Comprehensive Test Match Ban Treaty) to be jointly signed by both countries and monitored by the United States, which since it relegated cricket to Disneyland, can be the neutral umpire.

2. Ban The India Cricket Team From Touring Overseas: Not only do these disastrous excursions lower the collective morale of the nation, they also adversely impact upon the cricketers themselves. Think of all the money they squander in being unable to shoot toothpaste commercials.

3. Reservations For Minorities: Minuscule minorities like competent, honest, scrupulous politicians should be provided adequate representations in the Lok Sabha.

4. Reservations For Backwards: Enough injustice has been done unto the legally declared mentally challenged of the country. They should be allowed to participate in the electoral process, if only to raise the overall average IQ level of the aspirants by a couple of notches.

5. Reservations For Women: Since mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law, cousins, and other female in-laws and outlaws have more or less taken over Indian politics anyway, this trend should now be constitutionally validated.

6. Make The Government Accountable: All officials accused of sins of omission or commission (especially the 10 per cent variety) should be mandatorily made to watch UGC programmes for a period of not less than one year.

7. Bring Greater Transparency: Ensure that the CPWD provides glass facades to all Government buildings so that the public can actually see what's going on in the corridors of power. Introduce three sub-clauses to the section - a) charge entertainment tax, b) bar throwing of stones, c) remove glass ceilings.

8. For A Department Of Committees: A separate department of this nature will be empowered with overseeing the performance (for lack of another word) of the various committees that have been constituted by the Government. It will also be responsible for filing of all reports that are sporadically submitted by these committees. The latter can be manned by personnel seconded from the Solid Waste Management Department.

9. Privatise The Power Sector: While major business houses bankroll the electoral budgets of political parties, they should also be allowed to nominate members to Parliament along the lines of appointments of directors to the boards of leading firms. Keeping the interest of the nation at heart, a ceiling on foreign participation can be fixed for this critical sector.

10. Bar Moronic Articles Likes This One: Unfunny, forced and verging on the retarded, it should be legally ensured that such bilge is not thrust upon an unsuspecting readership scrolling hopefully down the page hoping for a hilarious climax.