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Holi Wholly Unholy
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 It was the night before the H-day. Beauty-ban Aftermath Singe sat working in his study, his dhoti slipping off occasionally from near the groin, brow corrugated in polyglottal thoughts. Before him lay a list of the ban probables: On the top of the bunch was a ban on playing Holi without wet colours. Aftermath Singe shook his head glumly: This doesn't sound good.There seemed no end to the H-day thoughts - colourless. Enter a colleague. Laughing. Gay Atandon. Why do you look so worried, CM? You know, he attempted to explain, tomorrow is the Holi day. But, replied Atandon, that should be no reason to worry? Methinks you should let your brain also rest on a holiday. Holi day, not holiday, Atandon, artic(le)ulate Aftermath said, trying to explain to Atandon the difference between 'a' holiday and 'the' Holi day. Aftermath's daughter came back from school. Her cheeks red - with whatever. It had been splattered all over her (no longer) immaculate white blouse, some sprinkled on the skirt, too. Aftermath looked up. Gay in Atandon was surging like a swollen gujhia. Now, I have a new thing to mull 'er - colour, Aftermath Singe mulled. Suddenly, he remembered his kalakari with a pichkari in school days. Memories rushed forward like colours in those the brass sprinklers. Aftermath remembered how the brat in him coloured gals' faces lal; how once he was thrown into slush pool, and then dragged, his friends in torn bandi and janghia - whatever you call it now - kicking up the mud, in a row, on his face. Some mud-slinging that was! Before he could stretch the memory slingshot any further, another colleague was Mishered in. Where are you aaj kal, Aftermath asked KalAaj Mishra. But before KalAaj could say anything about his whereabouts, the former occupant of the bungalow, KulRai Singh came calling. Later, over a glass of thandai, he said, Cool it, Aftermath. I respect your Holier-than-thou resolution not to play Holi - you are so sapped up after power games, you can hardly play any other, Holi or unholy. But, believe me, just slip your hand... oops, slip a thandai there, and Chori Chori Chupke Chupke get into the bh-ang mood. KulRai spluttered into an impromptu song: Ang se ang milana, sajan hamein aise rang lagana... Inside the room, someone was razing bhang. No one needed to sneak in to know how he was doing. A flunkey came rushing form the inside, Oh sirji, he is Lal, jee. No one's played colours with him, but he's still Lal. Maybe, someone had been building some plan well in advance, so while he was coming to you bungalow, sirji, someone chucked him bald out. And just now, KalAaj came to add, KulRai smeared Sum colour on his bald. Like the Kailash girls, who had decided, Bus (and Maxi cab, too) bahut hua; no Holi, this year. But Swishy Pandey had a wishy-washy idea of Kailashing in on all opportunities to get publicity. So... Then someone reminded Aftermath (Atandon and KalAaj) that he was not to celebrate Holi. Aftermath regained his composure. He flung the bhang ka gola in Atandon's direction. Tu hi kha le, gholi (he had done the gholing also). And, and had a look at this scribe, who was in wolveskin, and said, C, Umm... Achcha chalo, bahut thitholi Ho li, let's now meet after Holi. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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