The Naked Truth About... Sinha's Dream Budget

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Yashwant Sinha has yet against served up a 'famously' skewed budget. So amazing is his presentation, that I was forced to try and take a peek into the mind that produced it. And what did I find - an absurd, slightly lascivious fancy for half-naked Indian men, women and children. Since his childhood and right through his ramshackle days as DTC Chairman, he preferred to see the world in two dimensions of any sort, the basic Freudian denominator being upper torso clothed, lower torso knock-kneed and naked. Hence, as Finance Minister he learnt to see his country as a half naked human being, its expansive and well-clothed upper torso holding 200 million city-slicks and the scrawny lower half the remaining 800 million poor, sick and homeless. This vision, by itself, seems pretty socialist in its obscenity, except that Sinha is rather put off by nakedness, scrawny or bulbous. He had seen too many naked people as a child, enough to shatter his conscious and unconscious peace for a long while. It was only after he joined the IAS and spent his days in dak bungalows and circuit houses that he overcame his nakedness nightmare. Now, as a politician, the old trauma tends to bounce back without warning. He gets seizures of revulsion when he visits his constituency or, we are told, when he prepares the budget and runs into words like 'poverty' and 'unemployment'. Sources close to him say he breaks into a sweat and immediately looks for his favorite soothing term, 'alleviation'. His oldest friends know that when he suffers a panic attack, the word 'alleviation' works better than a glass of water, because to him saying it is like having done it. This time, his psychologist suggested that the best way to exorcise the dark images in his unconscious was to launch a frontal assault. "Grab the b*** with your palm, Finance Minister, and your fears will vanish," the psychologist thundered. Sinha felt a sharp pain like a boil being pricked and later was awash with relief. He walked out of the psychologist's chamber knowing he would prepare a "dream" budget. The next day he walked into North Block and ordered his bemused officials: Cut interest rates by 1.5 per cent, throw Chapter 5B of Industrial Disputes Act out of the window. He slept undisturbed that night, with a trace of a smile on his nightmare-ravaged face after years. What a dream he saw! A medley of numbers and percentages danced like the daffodils across the mountainscape and meadows of Switzerland till they reached the WTO office in Geneva. He awoke fresh as a wintry rose and penned the Budget. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Give Us This Day Our Daily Disaster A Dip Into The Kumbh Hype Hype Hurray The A 2 Z Of Y2K What's Behind Bush? The Florida Ceasefire The Damn Dam Controversy A Weak-Kneed Operation Faster, Higher, Stranger You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji A Srinivas is with a dotcom that takes economic analysis rather seriously SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: Feedback Form Your Name: Your Email: Details:   GAMES LINKS FREE INDIA DOWNLOADS JOKES HOROSCOPES ECARDS POLL

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