Aditya Sinha Checks Out The Florida Ceasefire

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It's official. Both sides have agreed to a cease-fire. And we're not talking of the Government of India and the militants in Kashmir. No, we're talking about the election armies of vice-president Al Gore and Texas Governor George W Bush, both of whom have been wrangling in a most unseemly fashion for what is only the most powerful position in the history of the face of the planet - the US Presidency. And just in time, too. Governor Bush was so incensed at the goings-on in Florida that he had decided to order the execution of Florida's Governor, even though it is his own brother Jeb. Thank God for the cease-fire! Or else who were the Republicans going to nominate to fight Hillary when she contests the Presidency next time around? Furthermore, his mom might have gotten a little pissed (Pissed that he didn't fry Jeb before the polling). So why the cease-fire? It turned out that the US Supreme Court was going to deliver a verdict saying that Bill Clinton should continue for another four years. For that was how long they estimated it would take for Florida to find State employees who could count and add. So they figured - find the new employees in time for the next election, for that one is going to be the one the Republicans are going to be shit-scared of: the one in which Hillary contests the Presidency. It appears that Gore and Bush may join forces in order to stop this dangerous and deadly development in its tracks. Yes, folks, the rumors are that they will both become the next President of the USA. "Two for the price of one," as Governor Bush was heard to remark to his disappointed running mate Dick Cheney, just before Cheney's fourth heart attack. "Yep, more government for the American people," concurred Gore. So what is the new Cabinet likely to look like? Secretary of State: Mike Tyson. To bite off the ear or punch in the nose any recalcitrant foreign dignitaries. Secretary of the Treasury: Elain Gonzalez. Yes, we think he should be brought back from Cuba. Secretary of Health: Dolly the Sheep. Cloning the Bushes is the only way of ensuring America continues to have Presidents far into the foreseeable future. Attorney General: Jim Carrey. He seems like such a serious fellow. Commerce Secretary: Jennifer Lopez. Simply because she's got the best ass in the world. National Security Advisor: Pablo Escobar. As if there weren't enough Latinos in the Cabinet. These names are of course preliminary and are subject to Congressional approval. And since Jaal is primarily an Indian site, we would be remiss if we did not give an analysis of what the new administration would mean to India and Indian interests. So here goes: Doodley squat. As it is, Americans don't give a shit for India, and the same is likely to continue till we again get a two-term President who runs out of countries to visit, and exotic places to be photographed in. To be continued.... (till when, who knows? Ask the hanging chad.) RECENTLY ON JAAL: The Damn Dam Controversy A Weak-Kneed Operation Faster, Higher, Stranger You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji Aditya Sinha is a writer and disciple of the the Great Gnuman SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: Feedback Form Your Name: Your Email: Details:   GAMES LINKS FREE INDIA DOWNLOADS JOKES HOROSCOPES ECARDS POLL

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