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JAAL brings you a 12 Rules For Bollywood Films. If you have any jokes, send them in to editor@jaalmag.com
1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3) Nothing is too tight for Madhuri.
4) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine (or vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.
5) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other weather.
6) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have a perfect complexion and teeth.
7) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.
8) A large group of goondas can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero fires from his small revolver will knock down at least ten enemies.
9) If you decide to start dancing in a field in the middle of nowhere, everyone you bump into will know all the steps, and will be wearing coordinated outfits.
10) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
11) If faced with certain death, do not panic. Merely chant, and after a few short bolts of lightning, all will be well.
12) A heroine will have time to change outfits several times in one song, however short (song or outfit, or both).
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