Rejoice Folks You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer

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Recently a high profile "volunteer" from India known as Atom Bomb Vajpayee came to the United States. The "overboard friends" of BJP (Bigoted Jan Parivar) along with the "Villains of Hindu People" (VHP) organized a function on Staten Island in New York just for the heck of it. Some Ram-sevaks wanted to build the temple in Ayodhya; other bomb-sevaks wanted more Ram-bombs; and yet other hate-sevaks expressed their love for Hinduism. However, the prime pronouncement at the meeting was Vajpayee declaring his "right to be a swayamsevak" which could "not be taken away by anyone." Both pleased and perturbed by this new human rights advocacy, the master swayamsevaks, also known as the "Reactionary Swayamsevak Sangh" (RSS), have quickly translated this assertion as the "right to be a volunteer." Since all this happened in New York and there were so many "religious" leaders who had just attended the UN World Peace Summit, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and all other human rights treaties and documents have been modified to incorporate this new "right to be a volunteer." Bear in mind now, you have a new right! This new right has added significance to India. While talking at the meeting, Volunteer Vajpayee said one more thing also. That is, even without a full parliamentary majority, the BJP had done a lot for the country. If they were given a two-thirds majority, VV declared: "we will build the India of our dreams." Now put this new "right" you have earned and the above "dreams" they have for you together. Here unfolds the future India. First of all, all the Indian Muslims and Christians would "volunteer" to be Hindus first and whatever they are next. They would "volunteer" to demolish all the mosques and burn down all the churches in order to revive the old temples that had existed in prehistoric times. Secondly, all the Sikhs, Buddhists, Jains and others would "volunteer" to be known only as Hindus and nothing else. They would "volunteer" to be "kar sevaks" in demolition projects around the country. Thirdly, all the Indian women (whatever their religion may be) would "volunteer" to be subservient to men. Hindu women would "volunteer" to uphold our great Hindutva tradition in our kitchens (during day time) and bedrooms (during night time). Fourth, all the Dalits, tribals, adivasis and other first peoples of India would "volunteer" to renounce education, modern professions, and human dignity. They would "volunteer" to perform their fathers' jobs and be subservient to the brahmanical "volunteers" who "volunteer" to uphold our Dharma. Then would emerge the Hindi-speaking, cow-belt domiciled hardcore Hindutva brahmanical "volunteers" who would "volunteer" to rule over all of us. Remember, they have the "right to volunteer" to rule and you and I have the "right to volunteer" to be ruled. When this "volunteer" Raj is established, everything will be based on "volunteerism." The "volunteer" citizens of the "volunteer" Raj would "volunteer" not to dissent either "voluntarily" or "involuntarily." Authors and artists would "volunteer" to destroy their works as soon as they are "volunteered," and historians would "volunteer" to teach mythology as history and history as "volunteerism." When the "volunteer" Raj burns down the Parliament "voluntarily" and the PMS (PM Swayamsevak) becomes "Chancellor Volunteer," some may "volunteer" to go to concentration camps or ghettos, others may "volunteer" to be gassed, and yet others may "volunteer" to be castrated, raped and experimented upon. The "volunteer" Raj would "volunteer" to have all kinds of Atom Bombs (aka Ram-Bombs), all types of Megalomaniac Missiles (aka Abdomen Kalam Missiles), and millions of Hindutva-scientist "volunteers", Hindutva-soldier "volunteers," Hindutva-pracharak "volunteers," and Hindutva-spiritual "volunteers." The "volunteer" Raj would "volunteer" to make the country "Akhand Bharat" by making the Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Sri Lankans, Nepalese, Bhutanese, Maldivians, Tibetans, Afghans, Burmese, and others to "volunteer" to be part of the "volunteer" Raj. Then the "volunteer" Raj would set out to Central Asia, Southeast Asia, and East Asia to make them "volunteer" to be part of the "volunteer" Raj. The "volunteer" Raj's new western friends, the United States, the United Kingdom, France and other "volunteers" would "volunteer" not to "volunteer" to do anything "voluntarily." When we are all dead and gone "voluntarily," there will be a lot of "volunteer" scholars, research associates, professors, senior fellows and other "volunteers" around the world who would "volunteer" to study "voluntarily" our fatal "volunteerism." Jai Sri "Volunteer"! RECENTLY ON JAAL: The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji SP Udayakumar, a political scientist and satirist, is based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He runs the "Communalism Watch and Governance Monitor," a daily email digest. SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE: Feedback Form Your Name: Your Email: Subject: Details:

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