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Gloom and despondence has descended upon Indian sports administrators. And the cause of such misery is an Andhraite who muscled her way to an Olympic bronze.
There is cause for concern. Jaal was recently privileged to report on a post-mortem discussion of the Indian squad's performance in the Sydney Olympic Games. here it is for your consumption.
Administrator I: Damn that woman. We didn't think she had a chance. She went up a weight category and we planted all those stories about her beer guzzling. And, we managed to create all that controversy over Kunjarani's exclusion. We thought we had completely demoralised her. And, now…
Administrator 2: It is our misfortune. In Atlanta it was that Paes boy and now this woman. Don't they know India has a proud tradition to uphold? How will we ever face our countrymen? Don't they know we invented the zero as the Human Resource Development Minister keeps reminding us. We've let down our glittering heritage for one lousy bronze. Oh woe!
Administrator 3: I know thing's aren't perfect, but look on the bright side. Look at our athletes. That Beenamol did shake us up for a while but she compensated later. But look at the sterling qualities of the rest. None of them even managed to make it out of the qualifiers and one of them didn't even turn up for the qualifications. We should consider him for an Arjuna Award.
Administrator 2 (cheering up): Yes, I forgot about that. But we'll also have to do something about the hockey team. They gave me palpitations. What a nail-biter - two minutes to go and they had almost qualified for the semi-finals. Fortunately, the Poles scored and we were eliminated but these boys have to undergo rigorous training to ensure such performances are never repeated. Maybe they should attend the same coaching camps as the Indian cricketers.
Administrator I: That's a good thought. But we must congratulate that Paes boy. Look how he made up for last time. Till last year we feared that he could even bring in a gold medal with Bhupathi. But they worked really hard at removing any such possibility. Glorious!
Administrator 3: Yes, we must give them points for squandering their chance. How can keep having medal winners? They'll keep adding to the baggage weight when the team flies back. And the more the medals they win, the fewer the number of electronic items and other goodies the team management can bring back.
Administrators 2: But we must remember the brilliance of our unsung heroes and heroines. Badminton, table tennis, swimming, wrestling, judo, equestrian, shooting. They never even came close to the medal category. Their merit must be recognised.
Administrator I: Yes, but how?
Administrator 2: Send them to the next Games as well, obviously.
Administrator 3: That's a good idea. But we must live down this Malleshwari fiasco. Should we ban her? After all, she did say terrible things about the Weightlifting association.
Administrator I: Of course! What a great idea. She'll learn a lesson and it'll be a lesson for the future for others who think they can cross the federations and given them a band name by winning medals.
Administrators 2: We must start preparing for the next Games now. Only then can we ensure the perfect zero.
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