In an exclusive interview to Jaal, the chef-de-mission of the Indian contingent to the Sydney Olympics expressed the fond hope (against hope) that the national squad will be able to exit through the main gate of New Delhi's international airport on its return from Down Under. (Obviously the chef-de-mission is haunted by the memory of furious fans waiting with missiles (guided and misguided) to welcome home the Indian cricket team with whenever it returns home after a dismal tour, which is almost always. - Ed.) He also expressed the hope that members of the various teams and the hand-picked officials/managers will not be embarrassed by the visual media and /or photo journalists while pushing out their luggage trolleys, laden with goodies bought at Sydney, Singapore, and other important stopovers.
The third fond hope expressed by him was that he will be shortlisted on return for a repeat performance as chef-de-mission for the next international meet abroad. Now speaking with reluctance on preparations for the event, the VIP confessed a lot depended on the nearly one thousand million Indians. Queried further by our probing reporter, the chef-de-mission referred to the great poet Alfred Tennyson's immortal words: "more things are wrought by prayer than the world (India) dreams of ".
In reply to a question on what has been done regarding prayers, especially keeping in view the secular character of India that is Bharat, the chef-de-mission confessed that a lot has been accomplished already. Since India still lives in villages, a fatwa is being sent by the Sports Ministry in New Delhi to all panchayats to organise prayer meetings in village councils to pray for sterling performances by our athletes and other sportspersons whose names none of them may know. Ditto for city councils and metropolitan corporations.
Vedic chants will be organised in temples all over the country including Ram Janmabhoomi and Somnath. Special choirs will invoke blessings of the Almighty on the Indian kabaddi and other teams, though, of course, the Government may have overlooked the fact that kabaddi is not an Olympic event. Special prayers will be requested in all mosques for at least one bronze or a fourth place finish. Prayers will also be offered in the Sports Ministry so that cynical sports hacks do not remember former Sports Minister Dhanushkodi Adityan's promise of India garnering a 100 gold medals at these Games. In all possible ways, the chef-de-mission continued, even in the absence of further probing questions, every effort is being made so that India leaves impressive impression in the medals tally, though actual practice facilities could not be provided to the athletes and others since every available open space had been reserved for prayers. In a candid confession, he said though India is not Abou ben Adhem and will not lead the rest, nor will we trail them all.
Sharing a secret, the chef-de-mission said, our overall performance will certainly have improved by the time India that is Bharat bids for the 2052 Olympics.

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