After Valentine's Day, the Sangh has now focused attention upon other occasions that symbolise imposition of decadent Western mores upon Indian culture.
On April I, various units of the Parivar held large demonstration throughout the country against those observing All Fools Day. In a statement handed out to the Press, Swami Murkhananda was categorical: "We do not have to be taught to behave like fools. We have a rich heritage of idiocy and as we have proven in the past, we can be the biggest fools of them all."
Just as they cornered and harassed cuddling couples on February 14 in Kanpur, vigilante groups of the Sangh took to the streets on April I. Their targets were identified as any person who was found smiling, even if it was the merest suggestion of a grin. "We will wipe that grin of their faces. We will change their facial structure, so they'll not be able to laugh again," said one of the organisers of the march held in Delhi. The march ended at Parliament House, chosen as the symbolic venue of their dharna since this has long been considered the font of playing amusing tricks on the nation.
The protesters chanted the slogan, "Ek fool, do kaante" as they scoured the streets for those who exhibited the temerity to defy the ban. As explained by one of the principals behind the movement, any such person would be held and used as a human pincushion. "Since they associate this day with needling, we'll see how they like our take on it," said one volunteer activist, who was last seen cracking the humerus of one bystander, who was accused of having deliberately smirked. "We'll see tears streaming from their eyes, and not necessarily from laughing," another youth activist said while sipping his Cola, muttering into his cellphone and abusing "cultural imperialism."
"It is our bounden duty to eradicate such expressions of mirth. Our governments, over the years have performed a splendid job in trying to remove a sense of humour from among the Indian people by giving them enough cause for anguish, but the task remains unfinished and the responsibility rests upon as," said another agitated agitator as he cackled vigorously at the thought of the gratuitous violence he could indulge in.
As a precaution broadcasters also refrained from adding the laughtrack to their sitcoms. Unfortunately, however, without this guide to the viewer, many mistook the serials to be public service announcements thereby precipitating a steep drop in TRP ratings. Newspapers had also been warned in advance against carrying comic strips and were told to replace them with announcements of the Government's achievements. However, the unforeseen fallout of this move as that it evoked even greater laughter amongst newspaper readers than the comics would usually.
The youth wings of these groups also claimed that Indian culture provided enough choices for humour; the prime example being that of Holi. "That is the real alternative, a chance a real joy. After all, how often do you think we get a chance to molest anything female? In fact, how often do you think we even get to get near a woman? Why do you think we were so damn upset over Valentine's Day?" one ideologue stressed at yet another Press conference.
In conclusion, he said, "Laughter may be the best medicine, but wait till you get a taste of ours."