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Delhi's Traffic Jam
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  Though considered fairly inert, Compressed Natural Gas (CNG) is proving quite the explosive issue in New Delhi.The reason is fairly simple: The Supreme Court has dictated that the entire public transport system in the city should run of this particular "green" gas. In fact, since that directive became operational on the first of this month, the Cabinet of the Delhi Government is seriously considering commemorating each anniversary of this momentous occasion as April Fuel's Day. Over the past few weeks of unusual traffic chaos, as different from the usual traffic chaos on the streets of Delhi, Jaal's reporters have diligently conducted a series of interviews with a cross-section of personalities involved in the process. We present select transcripts: Congress Government Minister: While we mean no disrespect towards the Supreme Court, we think that the process a governance is somewhat complicated. The Court gave us just four years for this switchover. It takes an Under Secretary that much time for find a folder to put the relevant papers in. We should have had a little more time to explore options, a deadline of 3001 would have been adequate. And, of course, half of this period had the BJP Government in charge and they did absolutely nothing. It's their fault that there are no buses, autorickshaws or taxis on the roads today! BJP Leader: The Congress Government has been in charge and they have done absolutely nothing. Two years is a lot of time. It's their fault that there are no buses, autorickshaws or taxis on the roads today! We would have called a rasta roko or a chakka jaam, except that we realised that we'd simply be replicating what's already happened. Environmental Engineer: All these claims of inadequate supply of gas is just so much gas. Delhi is blessed with an abundance of natural gas. All that has to be done is to harness it and pipe it. All you need to do is tap into the vast reservoir in Parliament, in the square kilometrage around Raisina Hill and in the Delhi Assembly. Environmentalist: It's just a small price that commuters will have to pay for clean air and healthier lives. With no public transport, the pollution load will decrease. And, otherwise they all have the option of walking to their destinations, thereby making the citizens of the city less obese. And, anyway, why should they all keep complaining about this problem? Why can't they just go out and do the sensible thing and buy themselves cars? I've to go now for an important meeting. Driver, please bring the Mercedes… Transporter: CNG costs too much and there's inadequate supply. Anyway, do you Delhi will be safer with alternate fuels? Our drivers can run over as many people regardless of the fuel in their vehicles. We'll keep striking till the Delhi Government reverses every decision it takes. CNG Conversion Agency: Certificate? Of course, we have a certificate. Of course, we can convert buses to CNG mode. Just because we received the certificate from a correspondence school does not mean it's not valid! Commuter: Who cares about me? Does it matter what I say? If I can find a bus, I'll feel like a sardine on a bad day. If I can't and need to take a three-wheeler or taxi, I'd need a bank loan since they've all either fixed their meters to run 1000 per cent more than the correct fare or fix their rates as they wish. If I could find the transport, I'd probably move to another city. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Being Believed Extinct Exists!! Truth Or Bare Holi Wholly Unholy Asking For The Moon Excise Excise Bush Speechless The Moron's Hack Miss Whirl Chatterbox 6 Chatterbox 5 Chatterbox 4 Chatterbox 3 Chatterbox 2 Chatterbox 1 Cloud Nine The Son Always Shines Glam Slam Autonomy Retort The Sri Lankan Mulberry Bush Take The Green Quiz A Tiger By The Tail 1000000000+ Chandrachud Rereported The Second Coming Of Bill Are You A Bollywood Buff? SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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