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Cricket and Hockey fans: Kiss my Khaki Ass!

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This is a tale of two terrorists. One who is destroying the fabric of the country, the other who is destroying the national game, that is hockey. Yes, that's hockey and not cricket.

Since this column is not in the habit of naming names (it's more fun this way!), let's assign them their nicknames.

One is Paper Tiger (PT). This guy sits ensconced in his lair, scared to step out unless he is surrounded by his hoodlums. From this safety he uses his remote control to spread mayhem and terror.

This dictator tells us what movies we may or may not watch; what books we may or may not read; what we may or may not wear. And then goes on to deprive his fellow Maharashtrians of what they hold most dear and that is cricket.

PT has decreed that the Pakistan cricket team will not be able to step on "his" state's soil. As a result, Bombay's cricket fanatics are not allowed to watch one of the great sporting spectacles, an Indo-Pak contest.

Bombay was denied a quarterfinal or semi-final match in the 1996 World Cup. Why? Just in case Pakistan qualified to meet India and PT would once again unleash his dogs of war.

I say deny all cricket matches, international or first-class to the state, until this diktat is withdrawn.

So why do the cricketers of Bombay remain mum over all this? Because PT and his party have captured the seat of cricket power in Bombay and all the state players are under his thumb.

Now it's all very well to sit in the safe confines of the Capital and pontificate about sport and politics not mixing. Try doing that in the lair of PT himself.

This is after all a man for whom Hitler is a role model. The similarities are chilling.

Both PT and Hitler came to power through the democratic process. Hitler of course ensured that the Reichstag was burned to the ground before the elections-with his political opponents still inside!

Then subvert this same democratic process and finally discard it. All the while leading pogroms against minority communities.

Hitler I used the 1936 Berlin Olympics as a tool for his twisted cause. Hitler II/PT uses cricket. In a sense, cricket is paying a price for being the most high-profile activity in the country.

Remember Wasim Jaffer? The Bombay opener made tons of runs last season. But just when his name was being forwarded for national honours, he has been sidelined from his state side. The reason? Why, because this son of a bus conductor belongs to a "particular" community. Pathetic!

Now lets turn to BP. This man has struck terror into the hearts of our gallant hockey players with his dictatorial and quixotic ways. For him the term "player power" is synonymous with terror.

Believe it or not, BP is actually upset at India's success at the Bangkok Asian Games. For the gold has given new voice to the hockey team. They are finally standing up for their rights having tasted victory.

Imagine, this man actually calls himself a patriot! And here he is downplaying and degrading the biggest achievement in Indian hockey for decades.

So what does he do? Well, BP is an expert at dumping bodies. Just check the canals of Punjab.

Add six more corpses to that tally. For these are the six who have led the move towards "player power" and they must be eliminated. Or "rested" as BP puts it. Every sports lover in the land though has seen through his devious plot to crush Indian hockey and Indian hockey players.

Another victim is the coach. The justifications from BP are warped, twisted and yes, pathetic. The coach was a players' man, which is why the team rallied behind him. And won.

But BP cannot stomach that. He does not want a players' man who can bring back gold. He wants a "yes man" who can kiss his khaki ass. So bring back the same man who was dumped after India finished ninth in the World Cup. And then have the gall to justify the move.

After all, what is more important? A "mere" Asiad gold after 32 years? Or the chance to exercise your dictatorial tendencies and cling on to power? While all the time, lining your pockets.

Is there an answer to all this? Or does that answer too lie in the dark minds of two men who are bent on destroying all that we hold dear?

Illustration by Siddhartha Mitra

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