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Spins & Needles

Main Story Main Story

Max Martin proposes downsizing the temples of modern India,
Slang Match Slang Match

Are Indian women over-possessive?
Fair Game Fair Game

BCCI's Channel Surfing
Laughing Stock Laughing Stock

10 Films That The Censor Board Did Not Pass
Smear Scape Smear Scape

A Government in Denial
Calumny Column Calumny Column

Hawking Hackwork
HateEmail HATe-mail
 
 

The Real Issues
Jaal presents some light verse on NGOs

Excuse me, friends, I must catch my jet ---
I'm off to join the Development Set:
My bags are packed, and I've had all my shots --
I have travellers cheques and pills for the trots.


The Development Set is bright and noble
Our thoughts are deep and our vision global
Although we move with the better classes
Our thoughts are always with the masses


In Sheraton hotels in scattered nations
We damn multinational corporations
Injustice seems so easy to protest
In such seething hotbeds of social rest


We discuss malnutrition over steaks
And plan hunger talks during coffee breaks
Whether Asian Floods or African drought,
We face each issue with an open mouth


We bring in consultants whose circumlocution
Raises difficulties for every solution
Thus guaranteeing continued good eating
By showing the need for another meeting


The language of the Development Set
Stretches the English alphabet
We use swell words like "epigenetic"
"Micro", "macro" and 'logarithmetic."


Development Set homes are extremely chic
Full of carvings, curios, and draped in batik
Eye-level photographs subtly assure
That your host is at home with the rich and the poor


Enough of these verses -- on with the mission!
Our task is as broad as the human condition!
Just pray to God the biblical promise is true
The poor ye shall always have with you."





1. Bahujan Samaj Party chief Kanshi Ram
WHAT HE SAID: An Italian putri is preferable to an Aryan putra.
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: After all, Sonia Gandhi hasn't pulled down our Government. Everyone else's, perhaps, but not ours.

2. Bharatiya Janata Party ideologue K N Govindacharya
WHAT HE SAID: We work with bifocal vision.
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: However, we are essentially myopic.

3. Bharatiya Janata Party leader and contestant against Sonia Gandhi at Bellary, Sushma Swaraj
WHAT SHE SAID: This is not an election. It is a mission.
WHAT SHE DID NOT ADD: Yes, a suicide mission, political suicide.

4. Congress nominee against L K Advani at Gandhinagar, T N Seshan
WHAT HE SAID: I am the best man in the best party.
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: And you'll soon see the best man worsted.

5. Andhra Pradesh Chief Minister N Chandrababu Naidu
WHAT HE SAID: I have no bad habits.
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: Except for allying with the BJP.

6. West Bengal Home Minister Buddhadev Bhattacharya
WHAT HE SAID: The ISI's existence in the State is no longer a secret.
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: Actually, it was no secret for the last 10 years to anyone else but the State Government.




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