After months of backroom strategy sessions, extensive monitoring of form and ability, the Board for Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) has finally arrived at a momentous decision. No, no, it's not something as paltry as the selection of the Indian cricket team, it's something much, much more important --- THE GRANTING OF TELEVISION RIGHTS FOR INTERNATIONAL MATCHES PLAYED ON INDIAN SOIL.

And, the winnah is??

The Prasar Bharati Corporation. In case you were wondering what that is, it means that dear old Doordarshan had the exclusive rights to show each and every match played in India over the next five years. Isn't that wonderful news?

Think about the joy that the idiot box will bring you in future viewings. Live telecast of four ball overs; superimposition of advertisers logos over various parts of the laying field while the game is actually shown in short breaks between commercials; commentators who'll save you money on sleeping pills; camera angles that catch everything on the field, especially the Union Minister in the stands in frequent close-up, except the all; well designed sings saying ``Sorry for Interruption''; and mis-synchronised audio that will mean you'll be watching India bat to the strains of a funereal raag (but that'll be fitting, no?). But does that matter?

Now, finally DD's much-hyped Sports channel will have something to air. Will it? Perhaps not, because apparently the agreement is that the cricket will be telecast on the main channel. That, of course, makes the Sports channel even more redundant than it is, but who cares as long as Pramod Mahajan got to inaugurate it.

According to our sources in Doordarshan they have ambitious plans about telecasting the matches. The first among them is that the crew actually gets to the correct stadium at the right time.

Other than that, there are other important matters that have to be dealt with. Among them, fleecing the advertisers and boring the viewers and alternately irritating them into literally swearing off the game.

DD has apparently been chosen because of its mammoth reach across the length and breadth of the country. The also rans included the ESPN-Star combine, the Zee Television Network and Sony Entertainment Television.

In fact, almost everyone wants to hop on to the cricket bandwagon. Sony, in fact, has already started telecasting the one-day series involving India, Australia and hosts Sri Lanka. Zee desperately wanted a piece of the cake, but will have to wait. As for ESPN-Star, they'll just have to do with the cricket programming they have available from other countries, though that should be quite a bit.