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Are you the next George Fernandes? Yet Another Jaal Questionnaire
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1. What does a hung Parliament mean to you?: a) The possibility of becoming a minister b) The possibility being deputed to Poes Garden to pander to that fat lady c) The possibility of another war with Pakistan d) The possibility of becoming Prime Minister 
2. What does being a minister mean to you?: a) Economic growth (of the nation) and enhanced security b) Defending the burning alive of priests engaged in charity work amongst lepers c) Vacation tours in the RAW chief's plane d) Sleeping with the Secretary's ex-wife 
3. What does China mean to you?: a) Enemy number one b) Economic growth number one c) Take-out noodles number one d) Biwi number one 
4. Who is Sonia Gandhi?: a) The lady who is from Italy b) The lady who contributed two to India's population c) The lady whose husband bought those guns which won the "war" for me in Kargil this summer d) The lady who'll have my balls for dinner unless I become part of the next Government 5. Who is Jaya Jaitley: a) The general secretary of my party b) The ex-wife of the guy who was my adviser when I was Minister for Kashmir Affairs in 1990 c) The expert on village handicrafts and textiles d) The big-bottomed bimbo who I take on vacation tours on RAW aircraft so that she'll screw me silly 
6. Who is Nitish Kumar?: a) The man behind the Samata Party b) The man behind the anti-Laloo mobilisation in Bihar c) The man behind all those railway accidents d) The man behind me when I'm taking a shower and I bend over to pick up the soap 
7. What is coca-cola?:a) The symbol of American imperialism b) The foreboder of India's cultural ruination c) The competitor to Pepsi d) Very tasty 
8. What is America?: a) Exploiter of peoples and nations b) Promoter of wasteful consumerism and child abuse c) A nation of vacuous individuals and serial killers d) Our new-found friends whom we will suck up to under the guise of a "strategic partnership" (akin to Mr Aggarwal's business "partnership" with Bill Gates) 
9. What is India?: a) The land where I was born that has an ancient civilisation and potential to enrich the lives of its teeming masses so that their individual spirits flourish b) The land where I fought against oppression and repression so that the exploited to throw off their shackles and realise their human potential c) The land which I defended against marauding invaders from Pakistan, duplicitous schemers from China, and unscrupulous exploiters from America d) The land of loot and pillage 
10. My greatest enemy is: a) Pakistan b) The Congress Party c) Amartya Sen d) Jaal |
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