As regular Jaal readers are well aware, the majority of our articles are written by trained chimps. Now, our writers have recently been found going ape. Why? we asked them. Using sign language they may have picked up from Panbanisha, they enlightened us to the cause of their merriment. Basically, they went jabber-happy over the Word spell check results when it came to certain commonly used names currently popular in India. As we found, either the guys who programmed the thing had a sense of humour or they unwittingly let loose some wit.
So, here goes our collection of the Freudian slips that the spell check provided us with:
Bihar = Bizarre: Could you agree more? Where else but in Lalooland would you find such an admixture of blessed buffoonery? The developments of recent days in the State Assembly simply underscore the point that in Bihar, nothing can be predicted, except perhaps, greater disarray, maladministration, corruption and other such byproducts of the modern-day polity.
Uttar Pradesh = Utter Prudish: This is a truly brilliant. After all, this is the State where members of the Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad bashed up young lovers on Valentine's Day since they felt that expressing amour went against Indian culture. And, it is right there that several Muslim organisations have protested the shooting of a film in the Bara Imambara in Lucknow on the ground, among others, that Amisha Patel may be cavorting around in a mini-skirt. And, can you really forget the massive uproar over the filming of Water in Varanasi?
Nawaz = Gnaws: The former Prime Minister of Pakistan didn't really turn out as Sharif as he appeared when he hugged Atal Behari Vajpayee. At that time, he was busy piloting a conflict aimed at whittling away Indian territory. Now, of course, he's even busier gnawing away; this time at his nails as the hijacking case him goes on.
Advani = Advance: Our Home Minister is a forward-looking man. That point is well underlined by the Rath Yatra he had undertaken. In the Home Ministry, he has been a strong votary of "hot pursuit".
Gujral = Jugular: Another former Prime Minister, who was never taken too seriously during his term.
Surjeet = Surrogate: The general secretary of the Communist Party of India (Marxist) has turned his party into a virtual lackey of the likes of the Congress, Laloo Prasad Yadav's Rashtriya Janata Dal and even J Jayalalitha's All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam.
Amar = Mar: Amar Singh is a senior leader of the Samajwadi Party and can claim sole credit (or responsibility) for having turned Mulayam Singh Yadav's party into a fast-collapsing entity in the only State it had a presence - Uttar Pradesh.
Kumble = Bumble: Have you even seen him fielding? Or even bowling during the disastrous tour of Australia? if you have, need we say more?
Jaal = Jab, jam or jail: Chose any one you want.
This article = A waste of time.