2. Sachin Tendulkar: Is single-handedly responsible for the demoralisation of the entire Indian team. After all, every time he gets out, a collapse ensues.

3. Saurav Ganguly: Can't play on the leg-side. And the opposition has figured him out so he can't play on the off-side either.

4. Rahul Dravid: Has all the strokes in the book. Unfortunately, none of them figure when he's batting in a one-dayer and on the rare occasion that they do, unerringly find the fielder.

5. Ajay Jadeja: Is the Toothpaste King of Indian cricket. Is trying hard to replace Azharuddin as the captain. At least that way he'll manage to keep his place in the team.

6. Robin Singh: Bats a little, bowls a little. Makes little difference to the team's performance.

7. Nayan Mongia: Enjoys the singular distinction of running out partners at crucial stages of an Indian inning.

8. Ajit Agarkar: Is India's most consistent wicket-taking bowler. Unfortunately, he gives away more runs during his quota of overs than the team can score - in total!!

9. Anil Kumble: Keeps puzzling batsmen with his straighter one - six of them per over. Is also adept at showy dives in the outfield and watching the ball whizz by from underneath him.

10. Javagal Srinath: Insists on bowling in the middle of the pitch. Would be a killer bowler in 11-yard cricket.

11. Venkatesh Prasad: Tries not to bowl too well because then he's automatically be dropped from the team. Is also India's most consistent bat.

12. Sadagoppan Ramesh: Doesn't move his feet overly while batting so as to conserve energy for that long trudge back to the pavilion.

13. Nikhil Chopra: Is the modern Indian all-rounder!! Is as craftless a bowler as he is a batsman.

14. Amay Khurasia: The heir apparent to the mantle of Sunil Valson.

15. Debashish Mohanty: Wasn't in the original shortlisted 19. At the juncture, the smartest thing the Indian selectors had done.

By the way, before we forget, Jaal's cheering for the Indian team……