Barring tea and an occasional toast thrown alongside the cup containing an insipid brown beverage, Manisha had no skill or patience for any culinary capers. She declared within a first few days of their familiarisation programme that she would rather spend her time eating out, watching TV, wear expensive clothes and shop in abundance. Housework is to be done only those who are "backward-minded", "unsmart" or "uneducated". After all, Sumit had settled for a convent-educated wife who spoke English and wore Western clothes, had he not? She had also brought in enough cash and kind to keep the family financially solvent for several years to come. For Sumit, arranged marriage had been robbed of all its relevance. Grapes that had gone sour.

Daily chores apart, does this notion of arranged and love marriage make any difference to the quality of relationship shared by the husband and the wife? A good number of traditionally married couples stress that nothing is amiss in the relationship. They court each other after marriage, in fact without any fear of shame or embarrassment, which is very often looming large on courting couples before their marriage. The newly married pair is often sent off by the family for a royal honeymoon. They don't get caught sneaking inside a park or don't have to walk the roads in search of a place to sit and utter sweet nothings.

Sangeeta and Ashim were packed off by Sangeeta's parents to (hold your breath) Mauritius where they wear they had a swell time. A tension-free co-existence where no one's even heard of being chased by the local policewallah from park to park, being glared at by one's neighbour in the cinema hall for having held hands, or even those pangs of break ups that are constant miseries of couples supposedly in love. "We wrote each other real passionate love letters, bummed around like teenagers, holidayed like never before and did all kind of things for which I had no time. And my wife and I are happy that my family is around with us to look after our needs when we need help. It could have been bad otherwise," proclaimed Shishir, a busy Infotech executive.

Reena, married after two years of courtship, feels that somehow the fun and naughty element of the relationship has subsided. They do not go out as often, rarely eat out, sleep off as soon as they hit the bed, even do not have time to chat much after an arduous day at work. "May be in an arranged marriage I would have had the chance to explore the conjugal relationship and make it livelier than it is now," she rues.

"Arranged marriage vs love marriage is no longer the issue," said a couple. It is lifestyle and the way you choose to lead it, that matters, they maintain. It is like choosing a package, a gift you give yourself. "One either chooses the glitter or the drudgery, and consciously, for there is always the option of rejecting a structure given the fact that both men and women today are aware of their demands," philosophises Andy. Well, he is a bachelor who at the moment is courting nature with his camera. We shall soon see.

Nabina Chandna is with the National Foundation for India

My eyes fill up - God has made this wonderful person and our horoscopes have brought us together as man and wife. Now, she is my soulmate, we will share all our joys and sorrows together. A complete stranger now, and a whole life time to discover each other, to fall in love. I am overwhelmed, and bend down to kiss her forehead. God, what sort of alcohol-based blush-ons do these beauty parlours use?

"1969!?, I thought you were turning 25 this year." I say as she fills up the Lucky Draw For Honeymooners form at the hotel desk.

"Oh, my parents had to fake my age to get me into school early, sweetheart." she says looking at me with those big, innocent eyes.

"What a truly beautiful place! Let us run to the beach right now," I say getting into the lift.

"Are you crazy? Let's make wild love," she whispers, squeezing my waist.

I suggest a walk by the palm-laden, wind-kissed, seashells-filled beach in the evening.

"How boring. We are on our honeymoon, darling, not retirement vacation. Let's hit the bar," she says.

"Rin Shen!!", she screams as we are about to sit down, at a man who looks like Robert De Niro in Cape Fear. "I can't believe you are still here," she runs and leaps into his arms, hugging him for two full minutes.

"Who was that?" I ask as she returns with a tall drink, three-fourths over, and a slight sway.

"Can you believe it? Rinshen is still here! We guys had a real good time when I had come here last year. I try to appear sensitive. "Oh, I can understand. It must be tough on you to meet him here like this." She told me a week before the wedding, the day our horoscopes matched, over a candle-lit dinner, that there had been another man in her life. I had said I wasn't interested in her past but her future - our future!

"Oh, don't be silly, honey. That was Rahul. This is Rinshen. He is a guide around here," she says laughing, "My baby, a couple of days' good fun doesn't make an affair."

"Would you like to place your last order, sir?" the waiter asks with that twinkle they have in their eyes when they serve honeymooners. "No, thanks." I say.

"I'll have another Electric Moon." She says. "If this is your last order, make that two."

"Don't you want to eat here?" I ask.

"Can't we order food in the room, sugar?" she asks coyly. "I always feel hungrier after sex."

Her ad had said "broad-minded". Had they put the inverted commas in the wrong place?

The key was to give it more time, I decide. After all, it must be difficult for her too to suddenly start living with a man whom you have barely known for a week. Food cooked over low heat always brings out the fullest flavour. There is no point in rushing into getting to know each other. This voyage we had embarked upon of discovering each other was going to be a long one - I would unearth numerous gems on the way if I were patient.

"...I married for companionship, for intellectually stimulating company, for a wonderful partner to accompany me through the various twists and turns on this arduous and lonely road that is life..." I was saying in soulful voice, caressing her hair, careful not to mess up her face pack, as she lay watching a TV show where a 14-year-old with three little rings pierced on each of his eyebrows was saying that he had finally found the woman he had always wanted in the 55-year old ex-belly dancer whom he had married last week. The woman agreed with him. "Why did you marry?"

"Hmmm...?" she asked glued to the telly.

"I said what made you get into this amazing thing called marriage?"

"Oh, mom and dad thought I was getting too old. You know, a woman's biological clock, always ticking, tick-tock, tick-tock. Mom thought 30 was the right time to get married." She added, "Oh, I mean, 24 was."

She turned to me at the commercial break. Now she was opening up.

"This thing with Rahul was also getting serious, you know," she said running a finger over my cheek.

"You wanted to settle down with him?" I asked. "Then why did you choose me?"

"I didn't want to settle down with that twerp. But you know it had started to show. You know what I mean..." she said touching her tummy.

"You mean, you are...well...you know, " I shuddered.

"Don't worry, honey. It's only a feeling. The gynae still can't figure it out. But I thought why take a chance and got married. Besides, can you think of any other way to legitimate sex?"

The most wonderful thing about arranged marriages is that you not only have the joy of unraveling the person you have married but also get the opportunity to understand a whole range of unexplored human relationships within the family and friends. Unlike love-marriage where you have already made up your mind that the father is a pompous, dirty old child molester and mother a haggard, venom-spewing witch, here you can start new in forging warm relationships.

"Vijay is coming to stay with us for a while, " she announced cheerily, dropping some fifteen extra large shopping bags on the floor.

"Who is Vijay?" I asked.

"My brother." she said matter-of-factly.

"What? I didn't know you had a brother."

"Oh, now that you are part of the family I can tell you about him."

"What? Where is he coming from? Where was he during the wedding?" I quizzed.

"At the Juvenile Delinquents Reformation and Rehabilitation Centre. Don't look so worried, sweetheart, they say he is completely cured now."

I figure that from now on there will never be a dull moment in my life. How many other relationships can stake this claim? Okay, got to go. Have to drop her at one of her ex-boyfriends' house who has arranged for a reading session of the latest Joan Collins.

Satish Padmanabhan is with Television 18

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