A tale of Atal

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Now that Atal Behari Vajpayee has been once again given a mandate for misgovernance, Jaal would like to go over the main points relating to the notable successes of Vajpayee in the area of nation building. Others might call it scams. One party that is well on the road to political extinction and whose official symbol the hand has been utilised by the electorate to hand over one of the most resounding political slap in the face, called one such scam Sugargate. Jaal would like to here interject and suggest that the Congress party would be better off if it changed its symbol, especially after the Indian electorate has delivered the Mother of all Political Slaps in the Face , to that of a pizza. Though it is not currently one of the free symbols with the Election Commission, Jaal is sure that this is an eminently reasonable suggestion, one which people in Turin too will have no problems with. Though the toppings are clearly optional, we at Jaal rather like the way that pizza can be so easily sliced. Once it is sliced you could have Pizza Sharad Pawar, the popular dish in some parts of Maharashtra. Getting back to sugargate, it is obvious that the Indian electorate has not really been disappointed with Vajpayee for doing such a sweet deal with Nawaz Sharif. But first of all, credit must be given to the Pizza Party for bringing to light such a scam that is so outrageous that not even the fevered imaginations of those who write potboilers can come up with something so outrageously bizarre as to be actually true. Everybody knows that all of Pakistan is really controlled by the ISI. Everybody knows that Most Favoured Nawaz's family controls the sugar mills, that is why the PPP, it is rumoured, is actively thinking of leading a nation-wide boycott of `tainted' sugar, which in the Pakistani context means all sugar. If this rumour is true, Jaal will refrain from offering odds on this boycott actually succeeding. What really takes the cake, though, is the notion that the Pakistani Army Welfare Trust, the front organisation for the ISI, could actually have utilised the foreign exchange thus handed over to Pakistan, at a time when Islamabad was under comprehensive sanctions, to actually carry out anti-Indian activities. This is a most fanciful notion without any factual basis. We have Jaswant Singh's word for it. Jaswant dismissed outright that such a possibility even existed theoretically. It is very difficult to make out what Jaswant Singh actually says when he opens his mouth that is why he is Vajpayee's favourite man to deal with the foreigners. Nobody actually can make out what he says and that's fine by all. Therefore when he appears to be saying that India will not be signing CTBT he is actually saying that it will be signed. What he says on the floor of the Lok Sabha is available only when the official transcripts are posted on the Lok Sabha Website. Since they don't have one, nobody really knows what Jaswant has said in the House. The next day's papers are full of contradictory reports, which suits the BJP just fine. Jaswant Singh is quite a scam. And he declared sugargate as being the fevered imaginings of the Congress Party. When the Raj Tilak is anointed for the third time on Vajapyee, one of the most dubious feathers on his saffron turban will be coated with wheat. Australian wheat. From available information Jaal has been able to conclude that Vajapyee gets his teflon coating from the fact that the most improbable deals are struck, and in the process nobody really holds him in any tangential way even culpable or guilty of political misdemeanours. Who on earth will believe that wheat from Australia was imported and stocked in southern ports and godowns for local consumption when everybody knows that those south of the Vindhyas don't touch the stuff. They are rice eaters. Look at Jayalalitha. Jaal has also got to hear underground allegations to the effect that Australian pigs refused to touch the wheat that was ultimately imported by Vajpayee's Government. Australian wheat, Pakistani sugar, and Malaysian edible oil, if the Congress Party is to be believed. It is quite possible that the Congress party has hurled all these videshi-with-a-vengeance charges against Atal behari Vajpayee only to cover up the fact that a certain top leader of the Congress is herself practically a videshi. Ask that person to say Amudalavalasa or ask that person what it is and you'll know. If this is not enough ask her who is the leader of the MGR-AIADMK . Thirunavukarasu is not an easy name even for some Indians. How could anyone after all doubt Vajpayee's patriotism, even though the BJP website doesn't mention that Vajpayee made notable contributions to the struggle for Indian Independence. Even though the BJP website shies away from calling Vajpayee a freedom fighter, he cannot be accused of being unpatriotic. In Pakistan Nawaz considers him patriotic enough to be secretly toying with the idea of conferring the Nishan-E-Pakistan on Vajpayee but neither the BJP and its controllers, the RSS and the Pakstani opposition are enthusiastic about this. Neither for that matter is the Shiv Sena. And Vajpayee himself may not relish the idea of moving in with Dilip Kumar. For a man accused of having a son-in-law although he has no children, this will only confuse everybody, especially Ghulab Nabi Azad and Rajesh Khanna, not to mention Saira Bano. The biggest scam of all is the fact that there are more constituents in the National Democratic Alliance than there are states in this country. And the leader of this alliance is Atal Behari Vajpayee who has addressed over a hundred electoral meetings in the course of the campaign, and as many as over a three dozen of them in Uttar Pradesh alone. Which is why the BJP seems to have done so well in UP.

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