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- Siddhartha Mitra |
Statement after Shiv Sena supremo Bal Thackeray called off the ban on Pakistan playing a Test series in India
WHAT HE SAID:``Mr Thackeray said he would not like the Congress to take advantage of any differences of perception between the Sena and the BJP. Therefore, in response to the request by the Prime Minister, he has decided to suspend the protest move against the series of matches this year only.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``After one year, Mr Thackeray will return to his senses …. er… his nonsenses.''
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Bal Thackeray responding to Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee's statement that digging up of the Ferozshah Kotla pitches by Shiv Sena activists was a ``black mark''.
WHAT HE SAID: ``There are several advertisements of various detergents on television, he can choose one of them.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``And, of course, we will help. Then we can all wash our dirty linen together.''
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Bal Thackeray, earlier, while threatening to block the Pakistan tour to India.
WHAT HE SAID: ``We will stick to our decision and send our dead bodies to Pakistan.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``Since most Sainiks are braindead anyway, it won't make much of a difference.''
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Board of Control for Cricket in India secretary Jayant Lele after the BCCI headquarters in Mumbai was attacked and ransacked by Sena goons.
WHAT HE SAID: ``It is really painful that the glorious game of cricket has been subjected to such a heinous attack by miscreants.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``No, no, I am not talking about how the Indian team plays the game.''
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Bharatiya Janata Party president Kushabhau Thakre
WHAT HE SAID: ``I have told the Prime Minister that we are behind him.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``And our knives are sharpened.''
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BJP vice-president K L Sharma.
WHAT SHE SAID: ``The BJP would like to warn the Congress and other political parties that they would not be allowed to carry on a campaign of misinformation and disinformation against the BJP.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``We are well capable of sustaining such a campaign ourselves.''
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Delhi Chief Secretary Omesh Saigal on the bureaucracy.
WHAT HE SAID: ``Governments keep changing but our commitment remains unchanged.''
WHAT HE DID NOT ADD: ``Hehehehehe. Our commitment to obfuscation, obduracy, obstruction and obsolescence.''
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You must have heard of the popular song Chaiya Chaiya from Dil Se. And you also must be knowing that it is undergoing some censor problems due to the word "Chaiya Chaiya"... So a new version has come out now... (thoda remix karke)
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiyaaa,
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiyaaa,
Saare colony ka doodh wala bhaiya bhaiya
Saare colony ka doodh wala bhaiya bhaiya.
Subah paanch baje aane wala bhaiya bhaiya....
Subah paanch baje aane wala bhaiya bhaiya.
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiyaa,
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiya
Main uske doodh pe marta hoon,
Use peene main subah ut-tha hoon,
Voh subah na aaye darta hoon,
Yeh sochke raat bhar jaagta hoon....
Jiske doodh mein doodh hai kam
Aur jisme hai paani paaniiiii....
Jiske doodh mein doodh hai kam
Aur jisme hai paani paani,
PAAAAANI me doodh milanewala
Yaar mera Bhaiya Bhaiya...
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiyaa,
Are Bhaiya Bhaiya Bhaiyaaa Bhaiya
Sunit Katkar
sunitkatkar@rocketmail.com
Home Page: http://www.vidyut.com/sunit/
JavaPage: http://www.vidyut.com/sunit/JavaPage.html
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Two poems by Pawan Nayar
Waiting for a bus
On the day of Bandh with political parties busy with destructive publicity,
I find myself searching for a bus to take me to the place of work.
A few like me stare unflaggingly at the end of the road from where the holy angel will emerge to save us from yet another forced holiday.
With uncharacteristic peace, we await a bus or a taxi or an auto.
Even the tongas will do or for that matter the rickshaw-wallahs who turn to the right on fast lanes without the slightest warning.
My grandma in heaven must be smiling.
I used to mock at her grayed opinion about worship: the Lord rarely appears when you beg, the Darshan happens when you expect the least!
An amusing loud-mouthed band of workers walk in, sloganeering what they had learned amidst drinks.
You can see sleep devilishly shining in their eyes.
For a minute, I find this amusing - an opportunity to pity at a nation and its brilliant leaders - all busy proclaiming the truth!
Each of them thinks of being as great as Gandhi and as energetic as Bose and as stern as Patel and my best friend tells they are all united on this feeling of being the best of the best.
I read the dark times in newspapers and hear the same from the radio and if my fading memory remembers correctly, the truth is no more distant from falsehood.
This time, I am told, the polity is fighting for Mass Rapid Transport System for delhihites.
The eternal optimists are on to it again and seventeen years have passed since the first bandh on this issue.
Like the Taj, the endurance of our leaders on creating an issue, I wish I said the results, lives like AIDS.
Actors have changed but not their anxiety.
The theater remains the same and so does the play.
As breaks my thoughts with the loud whistle of a bus steaming like Stevenson's engine and crowded like Amitabh's first day show.
House full I am told.
I am free, forcibly this time, to look at another loud-mouthed band of workers - all from the ruling party.
Secularism and Whiskers
Dense, shining and vibrant, the curls of his free-flowing whiskers symbolizes India: plentiful, understanding and tolerant.
As his deep breadth energized the magnificent ends to perform Bharatnatyam, I wondered what his sigh would be like - secularism?
Yes, it must be so!
The whisker is a proof of manhood.
Ask a gentleman who does not believe in the philosophy of 'bare all'.
A black and white photograph by an amateur photographer can miss essential facial features but not the whiskers.
Age cannot spoil its romance.
Love needs to grind its way thru' it.
The political parties too respect it.
They search the best amongst hukah-smokers, lecturers, pensioners and coal miners.
They don't search God in mandirs, masjids gurdwaras or girjaghars.
Don't take them as atheists.
They are secularists.
They all love whiskers - the symbol of manhood!
Today is the day, my hero is looking forward to: baptism by a secular party.
However, his nose is flowing and the whiskers are limiting the flood from getting into the town.
Misfortune!
The official priest of the political party does not like whiskers that dams snow.
Secularism must be clean, he declares.
Yes, I too admit for I have learned to nod my head in the direction of the crowd.
I look again at the Himalayan whiskers now being cleaned by a handkerchief.
A Gandhi-cap our smart man wears and balances the big curl on the left with an equal curl on the right.
Neither fuming nor murmuring, he pounds
'The world is round and at the right of the extreme right is left and at the left of extreme left is the right.
I seek no directions or party -
I am secular as secular as a man should be.'
I look at everyone and nobody applauds till a child of four frantically claps and mortal men follow suit.
The child runs to the stage and yells 'I will also play Ramlila'
Need I say that I looked at the grin of the elderly and declared I was not amused.
My quest about secularism has yielded ignorance but the child must have known better.
In a world which is all play secularism, my confusion understands, is like whiskers - vibrant, massive and ignorant!
PawanN@NIIT.com
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