Guess what. The Janata Parivar is joining the Nuclear Family.

Oh yes, the mandalites have all decided to hop on to the Bharatiya Janata Party bandwagon in what is being described as a realignment of the erstwhile members of the much-divided brotherhood.

So what do we get? We get Janata Dal president Sharad Yadav, who'll have difficulty winning his own seat and Karnataka Chief Minister J H Patel, who first suggested the idea despite being unnaturally sober, sharing the benches with Samata Party leader and Defence Minister George Fernandes, Lok Shakti leader and Commerce Minister Ramakrishna Hegde, and Biju Janata Dal leader and Steel Minister Naveen Patnaik, in the attempt to reunite the family.

That, of course, is said to be a return to the days of the socialists. Stretching the point because even Om Prakash Chautala is one of the new brigade. But the rebirth is like returning to the days of small pox epidemics and as desirable.

Why has this brilliant idea suddenly sprung up? Because Patel new that the Janata Dal in Karnataka would return after the Assembly polls with as many seats in the Vidhana Soudha as there are in a public toilet. So when when cornered, cower and run for cover and into the arms of whoever is willing to take you. In this case, it is Hegde and gang. Of course, we most remember that Hegde and Patel are old mates as if bound together with Scotch tape.

Sharad Yadav and Ram Vilas Paswan know that they'll be decimated in Bihar. So they've willingly emulated Patel in the name of principles, a term to describe which they use a different dictionary than the one the ordinary person does. Both are hoping that the BJP-Samata Party combine will prop them up, giving them the faintest, the very faintest of hopes of winning from Madhepura and Hajipur, respectively, in the forthcoming Lok Sabha elections.

Then there's former Prime Minister I K Gujral, with his magnificent hold over the IIC constituency. Gujral has a single-point agenda, to return as External Affairs Minister regardless of who form the Government.

So basically what you get is another split in what is the Janata Dal, though it has little Janata left to speak of.

The Dal is like an amoeba, just when you think it cannot split any further, another part breaks off. Remember the united Dal in 1989 when VP Singh became the Prime Minister. Since then Chandra Shekhar formed the Samajwadi Janata Party; Devi Lal, the Indian National Lok Dal; Mulayam Singh Yadav, the Samajwadi Party; George Fernandes, the Samata Party; and the geewhiz kid of Indian politics, Ajit Sijgh has been party-hopping like crazy.

Then there have been the more recent additions, circa 1997-1998. The Biju Janata Dal was formed in Orissa and now seems to have matured as a Janata Dal progeny with a split of its own in the offing; Laloo Prasad Yadav formed the Rashtriya Janata Dal; and Hegde, the Lok Shakti.