Illustration by Amitabh

That is why they keep calling you at every hour of the day and make nuisances of themselves in your office even when you have important work to complete and thus, have to work late. For them, every person you work them, is a potential competitor!

I really find it funny when men say that women are over-possessive. Give me a break! Have you heard a man whining and whimpering when he cannot have his way and you cannot make time for him? A man thinks that if you decide to acknowledge him as the chosen one, he as a lien over your life. He expects you to bow to every wish. He expects you to accompany him everywhere as a decorative item that he can show off.

Of course, there are different sorts of men. There are those who are more considerate and then there are the others, the vast majority of Indian men for whom women are nothing more than another possession, like the TV or the fridge. And possessions are not expected to talk back or have lives of their own, are they?

If at any time, women actually make demands of their men, it is simply to stop them from making utter fools of themselves, at which they are so adept. Or to keep them on the straight and narrow because these are fickle-minded creatures with the brainpower of gnats.

That is when they start accusing you of being over-possessive. Should I use their favourite phrase which they always use when you are trying to get them to do something that they ought to have done much earlier but kept putting off - ``Stop nagging me.''

I usually give back as good as I get. But I have been lucky in my selection of men since most of them have not been the cloying, idiotic type but are understanding and know where to draw the line.

Jar Jar Binks has mutated into designer Ruchika Joshi

A man's problems with women's over-possessiveness starts after he is born and continues till his death. First, there is his mother, who insists on knowing everything he does, everywhere he goes, about all his girl-friends.

When I was younger I would tell my mother anything. Children usually do confide in their parents. But as I grew older and entertained a healthy interest in girls, my mother became more and more inquisitive. She always wanted to know everything about each and every girl - who her parents were, where she lived, etc. It wasn't as if I was going to marry her, she was still just a friend.

Illustration by Amitabh

But my mother never looked at it that way. Like most Indian men, I found my mother becoming more and more accusing that I was forgetting her, that I was not concerned about her, an indirect way of telling me she did not approve if me looking for another woman.

But I did get her approval when got married to the girl of my choice. Just when I thought that I had shaken off all those questions about my comings and goings, I found out that over-possessiveness is not limited to mothers alone.

Wives are much worse. They are around you all the time and the few precious hours that you get to yourself have to be devoted to them. I don't mind spending time with my wife, and I do do that most of the time. But you will understand that a man cannot spend all his free hours of every day with his wife.

There are other things that he may want to do. But if I want to sit peacefully and watch the one-day match on the television, or listen to some music and even go out with my friends for a couple of hours, my wife will sit and sulk for hours. She will accuse me of neglecting her. She will say that I am not interested in talking to her. She will say that I never listen to her and that I no longer enjoy myself with her.

That is definitely not true. I really like being with her most of the time. But most of the time, not all of the time. Some of the time has to be mine. But I cannot make her believe that. But at least I can then make up by spending a weekend with her and then there is peace in the house. There is peace till the next time I think of being alone!!!

God Forbid if another woman were to call me up regularly. I remember one time that a colleague would frequently ring me up at home. She and I were working together on a project and it was normal for her to do so. My wife, after the first few calls, started throwing tantrums and started tracking every movements of mine. Only after the project was completed and she found that things were back to normal that she believed in what I had told her earlier.

Jar Jar Binks pretends to be Rahul Sethi, an Accounts Executive

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