1. Kargil: Both lost it. Can a conflict have two losers? In this case, yes! Pervez Musharraf's troops were humiliated, even the ragtag mujahideen did better. And, Atal Behari Vajpayee got so lost amongst a wealth of RAW data, that he decided there was no threat from Pakistan.

2. PR: Despite the Kargil fiasco, both proved that blundering could be the surest way to power. Musharraf blamed the civilian Government for undermining a ``famous win'' and Vajpayee simply smirked and gloried in a Pyrrhic victory.

3. George Fernandes: Vajpayee loves ol' George, his chamcha-in-chief because no one in the Bharatiya Janata Party pays any attention to the Prime Minister while the Samata Party supremo pays obeisance. And the Pakistan Army has described Fernandes as the ``best Defence Minister Pakistan could hope for India to have!!''

4. The Mask: Remember Govindacharya's tag of mukhota? Well, Musharraf's of the same ilk; a rabid religionist who tries to disguise himself as a secular professional.

5. Dogs and the Media: Musharraf took great pride in displaying his dogs to the firang Press corp, while Vajpayee has a kennel full of poodles himself; they're called Indian editors.

6. Nawaz Sharif: The man they love to hate. Musharraf has taken over a country courtesy Sharif's idiocy and Vajpayee over another.

7. Booze: The Pakistan Chief Executive is a known tippler while Vajpayee has a legendary reputation vis-à-vis alcohol. Of course, given the way diplomacy has gone between the two nations, a few drunks would hardly make a difference.

8. Uttar Pradesh: Musharraf has tried hard to bury his Azamgarh roots, to the extent to fashioning himself into a quasi-Punjabi. Vajpayee would also like to forget UP, courtesy Kalyan Singh, Rajnath Singh, Lalji Tandon, Kalraj Mishra, Sakshi Maharaj, the entire caboodle.

9. The ISI Chief: Poor Ziauddin (see Smear Scape). He barely had a couple of hours as the Chief of the Pakistan Army Staff before he was stiffed and, worst of all, is probably keeping Sharif company under house arrest. Of course, that does pose a problem for the Indian Government. After all, for each crisis here, even a steep rise in the price of vegetables, they could blame the nefarious ISI. Now, if the ISI chief cannot predict a coup, could that agency be that potent?

10. CTBT: The two sub-continental leaders are falling over each other in their haste to sign the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. They're willing to overlook minor hurdles like the US Senate's negation. So they keep kneeling (or is that Lewinskying?) before the Big Chief, Bill Clinton.