The Aussies are coming, the Aussies are coming! And before they have even landed they have us in a spin.
Poor Sourav-da! After the walloping he received at the hands of Sachin Tendulkar in 1998, Shane Warne claimed he had recurring nightmares of ST charging down the wicket at him! Now captain-da must be having nightmares of kangaroos hopping all over the place. Hopefully he is also brushing up on his language skills. This is an area where our visitors excel. But here's a poser - how in heaven's name will Warne be able to improve on that filthy phrase he delivered to Zimbabwe's Stuart Carlisle? "Fucking arsey cunt". It does have a certain ring to it, does it not? Even Pakistan umpire Shakoor Rana's "fucking cheating cunt" (delivered to England captain Mike Gatting in 1987) pales in comparison!
Coming back to skipper-da, first the word was that he had asked that the pitches for three Tests be made to suit spinners. Then came a hasty retreat - Anil Kumble would not be fit to play following shoulder surgery.
Question: name the current spin bowlers in the country of Bedi, Prasanna and Venkataraghavan (apart from Kumble).
Answers: They are none (so to speak).
Australia on the other hand can call on the services of Shane Warne, Colin Miller and Stuart MacGill. So what, you may ask? Aren't Indian batsmen masters of spin bowling? Yeah, right. Remember Saqlain Mushtaq (match winner in the Chennai Test of 1999), Nicky Boje (match winner in the Bangalore Test of 2000) and Muthiah Muralitharan (world record figures of 7-30 against India at Sharjah last year).
Still, there is some respite for Ganguly-da. He must have been popping the rosogollas and lapping up the mishti doi after hearing that Brett Lee is injured and will miss the tour. So now both teams have lost their main strike bowlers.
What else can the game plan be but to make dead tracks that will last a week and produce thousands of runs? After all, drawing a Test against these guys and their world-record winning streak is an achievement in itself!
As for the one-day games, they are a lottery at the best of times.
After the Aussies, it's over to Sharjah, God and Uma Bharati willing. Then it's off to Zimbabwe, followed by Sri Lanka and finally South Africa. And England will drop in at the end of the year to complete probably the busiest year for Indian cricket.
The last time Australia won a series in India it was under Bill Lawry in 1969-70, before most of the players on both sides were born.
Three Tests and three draws? Dada-da must be hoping against hope..

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