"Laloo's wicket too has fallen for cricket. After having hit the Opposition over the fence for a six in the ball-ot battle, he's now set to play his innings as the Bihar Cricket Association's president..." I had just started on a new article, when Baloo, my friend, barged into my study, fired up like a Shoaib Akhtar, his eyes glinting. "Laloo is again on a sticky wicket," he said, referring to the non-bailable warrants issued to the former Bihar Chief Ministers Laloo Yadav and Jagannath Mishra by the special CBI court in Ranchi in a fodder scam case. "Whether he surrenders or is arrested, he is bound for jail."
"Maybe because he made a balls-up," I said, refusing to believe that Laloo can actually be bowled out.
"But, the ball's sure in Ranjan Yadav's pitch, nay, court now."
"That's a load of balls," I scoffed. "Why do you always jump the gun?"
"Whether you agree or not, it's for sure: these developments will give a fillip to Ranjan's efforts to get Rabri out."
Baloo left, refusing to indulge in further discussion. But, he gave me fodder for thought. Being a Laloo fan - for his propensity to drop sound bytes at the drop of a hat, like the one Star News channel has caught on to: Mere bina cinema nahin chalta - I was disturbed by what I initially dubbed Baloo's bal(l)derdash. Will Laloo not become the BCA chief now? Will the truncated - minus the Jharkhand - Bihar not play cricket on Laloo's wicket? Will BCA headquarters not shift to Patna? Will we never see a repeat telecast of the 1996 World Cup match between Zimbabwe and Kenya when Laloo summoned a helicopter to hover a few feet above the damped (by sudden showers) pitch for it to dry? There seemed no end to my anxiety. I switched off my computer, and decided to dump the thought.
Later in the day, Baloo again bumped into me at the grocer's. "I'm not hoisting by my own petard, but admit it, what I say is always right. The CBI has been able to slip in a googly, and Laloo has been caught off the guard," he pricked the Laloo fan in me again.
He told me about reports in certain section of the media that Laloo's cell (in jail) will be without a cellphone "so he cannot remote-control the government in Patna", that "jails in Ranchi had also jumped the gun, as you said in the morning, and are preparing for the VIP prisoners".
Baloo again left me, stranded with excruciating thoughts. The concern was not BCA's fate but Laloo's. Not that Laloo had not gone to jail earlier, but he had never been on such a sticky wicket, as Baloo said. I had always known him to bowl fast, bat straight, and lunge to the crease but never get run out. So, I was worried at the CBI additional director's "vishwash" - though I wished it turned out to be a wishy-washy wish - to see Laloo (and others) in jail. But, I was confident Laloo would do something, spin some tactic... and then the headlines on the TV said, 'Laloo gets reprieve from SC.'

AarGee is a Lucknow-based humorist

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