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The Pakistan Tour Q&A
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 After extensive research (like talking to ourselves), Jaalmag.com compiled this list of answers to questions that have arisen during the Indian cricket team’s tour to Pakistan:Q) Ain’t the Pakis sweet? A) If you believe all those chain mails from Karachi, you can assume so. But, also be realistic. Pakis can be really sweet as long as there are a dozen security personnel holding machine guns to their heads. Take away the heavy armaments, and any Indian in Pakistan had better count the number of testicles he returns with. As for the women, are you nuts? Women aren’t allowed out in Pakistan. Q) Hasn’t this been an exciting series? A) Sure thing. It has been very well scripted. A nail-biting series opener won by the touring country, just to get the home fans riled up and then the home team goes a game up, before the tourists even up things. If the script, possibly written by Dawoodbhai in Dubai and his bunch of match-fixers, holds up, you’ll probably get the home team winning the final match to take the series. Otherwise, Allah be praised, the fire-bombing will start. And you can well assume that the same script will be followed for the Test series. One-all before the decider and then the Pakis take the final Test. Yawn! So much for excitement. Such fun, no? And as believable as a Bollywood film and just as predictable. Of course, it’s also possible that with the cricket mafia, which also funds terrorism, having deep links with the Mumbai underworld, they could have got some really talented scriptwriter to have written the series for them. Just remember that the next time you watch one of these matches, it’s fiction, not fact. Q) Isn’t this great for India-Pakistan ties? A) Wait till the snow melts and the Paki-hosted jehadis travel back into India. That’ll be fun. We’re sure the Army jawans who’re getting shot and blown up all over the place courtesy our cross-border pals, are just as pleased as you seem to be. Of course, by then the elections would have been over and the Government would have secured its principal objective of setting up the series – a portion of the Muslim vote, however minuscule that may be. Q) Aren’t you glad the Pakistan cricket board has been saved from bankruptcy? A) Sure thing, everyone in Pakistan is. Not only the Pakistan board, but also the madrassas and other jehad factories that were starving for funds ever since the Taliban was ousted and the Saudi and US pipelines dried up. Now, they can happily get their share from the ISI, which, of course, will be the prime beneficiary from the coffers of the Pakistan board being filled up courtesy the Hindi-Paki Bhai Bhai delusions of Jagmohan Dalmiya and his ilk. The next time there’s an attack on an Indian target by terrorists be proud that we paid for getting our own killed. Q) So, we should have lots more such tours, no? A) Certainly, especially if we admit that we are a nation of braindead idiots who have nothing better to do than commit suicide, because, after all, we are funding our own demise. But with the sort of political leaders and cricket administrators we have, we don’t doubt that the braindead part is very apt.
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