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Olym-Picks
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 Now that another Olympic Games are behind us, its time to hand out Jaal's very own awards.Best Name: British show-jumper Pippa Funnel. Close second: German single sculler Katrin Rutschow-Stomporowski. 'Best' Excuse: Long jumper Anju Bobby George claiming she felt "dizzy' during the finals due to the "heat and pollution" of Athens. Come on Anju, sixth place is not all that bad. 'Best' Whiner Award (India): Dhanraj Pillay sounding increasingly like a stuck record as he carries on whining about being "humiliated" in his final Olympics match -just three minutes on the ground. We get the point, Dhan! Best Whiner Award (international): British distance runner Paula Radcliffe dissolving in tears on the streets of Athens three miles from the Marathon finish line – and then failing to complete the 10,000 metres too. 'Best' Sourpuss Award: Russian prima donna gymnast (and Playboy pin-up) Svetlana Khorkhina who had to settle for silver once again in the individual all-around championship-and then letting us know that "beauty" should be a factor too in awarding points (hint, hint). Best sporting moment (India): Shooter Major Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore (who else?!) Best buckpassers: Shared by weightlifting coach Pal Singh Sandhu and hockey supremo KPS Gill. The former got the sack, the latter should too. Best sporting moment (International): Morocco's Hicham El Guerrouj finally striking gold in the 1,500 metres after one Olympics flop after another-and then topping it off with another in the 5,000 metres. Worst Sporting Moment (India): Shared by weightlifter Karnam Malleswari, shot-putter Bahadur Singh and discus man Anil Kumar - for not even trying. Worst Sporting Moment (International): All those cheats caught doping and thrown out. (Including two Indian women 'lifters). Worst Sporting Moment (local): The booing that held up the men's 200 metres since the Greek favourite was missing in action. Close second: The nutty Irish intruder who eluded security and almost ruined the men's Marathon. Best Olympic Innovation: The presentation of laurel wreaths to all three medalists, reviving the ancient Olympic tradition. Close second: Playing foot-tapping music to get the crowd involved during lulls in the track and field events. The theme from Zorba the Greek was the best of the lot. Saddest Moment (India): Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi losing 14-16 in the final set after more than four hours on court in the men's doubles bronze play-off match. Saddest Moment (International): The Greek woman judoka who committed suicide on the eve of the Olympics after a lover's spat with her boyfriend. Best Sporting event: The men's 100 metres – lightning fast. Worst Sporting Event: Shared by Dressage, synchronized swimming and diving, rhythmic gymnastics, trampoline and a bunch of other ridiculous events in cycling and other sports. First Prize to top all First Prizes: To the Greek people for overcoming all doubts and hurdles and making this the most emotional and sentimental Games of them all. Booby Prize to top all Booby Prizes: As always, to our self-seeking officials who treat every international sporting event as a private holiday and are never around when needed the most.
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