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Hello? Wrong Number |
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Me: Hello! Other end: Hello! Me: Hello! Other end: Welcome to XYZ company, the ulti… Me: Hello! Can I…(still under the impression it's a human voice, and not an automated response) Other end: …mate solutions in networking, software, RDBMS, *&^%$… Me: Hello! Other end: If you know the extension of the person you desire to reach, press 1. Or press 2 for operator assistance Me: 1! (I trust technology more than fallible humans, you see) Other end: Now press 1 for adminstration, 2 for accounts, 3 for datawarehousing, 4 for godknowswhat, 5 for hangupyouloser Me: 3 (that sounds vaguely familiar) Other end: Welcome to the datawarehousing section of XYZ company. Me: He..Hello Other end: Press 1 for first names starting with A to F, 2 for second names starting with G to H, 3 for first names with G to H… Me: Sheesh…but I dunno what his official name is Other end: Press 8 for middle names with vowels, press 9 for names with consonants, press 0 for… Me: Taking a chance again I press 3… Other end: You have reached the extension of XYZ. Sorry, the person you have reached is not in his seat and has switched on his voicemail box. Press 1 to disconnect and 2 to leave a message Me: Press 2 Other end: Voice goes mute Me: Hi XYZ. Please call me back at this number seven-zero… Other end: Sorry, XYZ's voice mailbox is full…Please try later.. Me: Hello, hello (making a last ditch attempt..) Other end: Sorry, your call has expired. Thank you Voice goes mute again… I hang up here to retry the whole procedure, this time taking the assistance of the human receptionist, as against the inhuman, er, the automated voice response system. Me: Hello Other end: Hello! Other end: XYZ company, May I help you! Me: Can you connect me to Mr ABC please. Other end: Is ABC his first, second or last name ma'm. Me: Well, err. I am not certain. Other end: Please hold on Ma'm…(Titanic again in the background)… Other end: Hello! Me: Yeah Hello! Other end: Can you tell me which module he was working for Ma'm. Me: Please, I have better things to do than remember his module's name and number Other end: Difficult without such crucial information, but I'll try Ma'm Me: (Now losing my patience). But if I give you the name, can't you just go into your database and tell me the possible names and extensions. Other end: Sorry ma'm. Our database got corrupted. After the September 11 blasts, the software economy burst, our stocks fell, we lost profits and in cost-cutting the database manager was fired. Me: But then… Other end: Ma'm. I think we've got the person Ma'm… (Titanic in background again) Me: Hel. Hellooo…Can I talk to XYZ please? Other end: Well, he quit just last week. He's now with EFGH company. And the number is six-four-three… After dialing six-four-three… Me: Hello Other end: Hello! Me: Hello! Other end: Welcome to EFGH company, the ultimate… …and the story goes on PS: Ignorance is bliss, but not when you need to reach your friend and you are ignorant of crucial details such as his/her module name, strategic group number, date of appointment, Details such as blood group and idenfication matters may be of added help. RECENTLY ON JAAL: A Man Of Many Masks The Mathematics Of Gujarat Yeh Dil Maange Less Valentine's Daze The God Of Fried Things Kabhi Mushy, Kabhi Rough The Worst Of 2001 Omni-Laden The New ISI Chief Is A Pathan!! Osama And Veerappan The US Strikes Out Bush Talks Tough TN Wants A New CEO Code Red And The Blue Book Sucking Up To Musharraf The Tamasha In Tamil Nadu The Agra Assignment Going Ape Over Kashmir Bad Dream Factory Ballot Boxing Borderline Patriotism Bill Clinton's Hidden Agenda The Tapes: Replay The Naked Truth About Sinha's Dream Budget Give Us This Day Our Daily Disaster A Dip Into The Kumbh Hype Hype Hurray The A 2 Z Of Y2K What's Behind Bush? The Florida Ceasefire The Damn Dam Controversy A Weak-Kneed Operation Faster, Higher, Stranger You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer The ICE ICE Baby A Tale Of The Jungle King The Secret Autonomy Report Report When Batsman Became Betsman India's Human Genome Projectile Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws A Dry Spell For Policy Planning Lara's Theme Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust Inside A VIP Cell A To Do About Dos A Dress Code For Klintonji Manju Latha Kalanidhi is a cross-media journalist based in Hyderabad SEND US YOUR FEEDBACK ABOUT THIS ARTICLE:
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