Much hoopla is made by the pseudo-secular English media about Bill Gates' donation towards AIDS/HIV relief in India. The plain truth is that Bill Gates is trying to convert followers of the religion of UNIX/Linux into the religion of Microsoft using the sick and fraudulent means of inducement and allurement. This is a carrot and stick strategy. He is donating funds which will "help contain the spread of AIDS" not because he has any kind of sympathy for AIDS patients nor is he doing it because of his appreciation of the work done by Desis at Microsoft. But his agenda is to convert all UNIX users and programmers in third world countries to use Microsoft technology. If his actual aim for donation were to appreciate the work of Desi dudes at Microsoft, he would have given them a bonus or stock options. But grapevine has it that Desi dudes in Microsoft are sick and tired of slaving for low pay without getting a bonus. Nope! He is not doing this donation thingy with any noble intention. His agenda is plain and simple: spread the disease of Microsoft far and wide. Monopoly is the name of this Bill Gates' game.
What we need in India now are monsters like Jumbo Jayalalithaa and Kanchi Sankaracharya who can promulgate anti-conversion laws in a high-handed, evil manner in all Indian states. This will prevent these Microsoft vultures from spreading the Gospel of Microsoft technology and stealing UNIX users in the name of helping AIDS patients. Believe me: Bill Gates is in it for the souls of UNIX programmers.
Bill Gates does not believe in true service towards humanity. He does not even care about illiteracy in third world countries. Bill Gates says he wants to invest money in education and health, but in reality he has devious plans to teach technology exclusively from THE BOOK, namely, the Microsoft Manual. Do you think they will teach UNIX commands in institutions funded by Bill Gates? No way! Saffron Shaitan Himsa (violence) once went on a stealth tour of this huge Microsoft facility in Hydrabad and I tell you what? He did not even see one single Unix man page in the whole complex.
To save India from the clutches of Bill Gates, the need of the hour is a person like corruption princess - Jumbo Jayalalithaa who is adept at giving a deaf ear to reason, common sense and right. She would be the right person who could ensure that no Microsoft Certification Exams are conducted in India. Instead she will make India proud by replacing it with exams on lying, cheating, swindling, threatening, harassing and other vices. What we need now is the help of Saffron cultural terrorists like Francois Gautier, Sudarshana, Togadia, Singhal, Thackeray and the mouthpieces of the Saffron Al-Qaeda - The Pioneer and Organizer, to create awareness in the minds of all patriotic Indians regarding the evil designs of Bill Gates.
I would rather suffer the entire nation to perish to AIDS than see the land of sages contaminated with the message of Microsoft technology. Microsoft did not originate in India, so we should not allow Microsoft to flourish in India. Microsoft is a foreign technology; it is a White man's technology. People need to know that Microsoft is more dangerous than AIDS.
The Saffron Enquirer did an investigation on AIDS and discovered that the spread of AIDS is related to the presence of Microsoft technology. Look at the west in general and America in particular. These are countries that have the most number of Microsoft programmers and users. And guess what? AIDS is spreading like wild fire only in these regions. A recent study states that 90% of American homes have personal computers running Microsoft Operating Systems. That explains why AIDS is rampant in the US. Also a secret Microsoft internal Memo (smuggled out by Saffron Sleuth) says that AIDS amongst Microsoft users/programmers is critically high. The same memo projects that if this trend continues, in less than three years, there would be no Microsoft programmer alive. That means there will be no new version of Microsoft Windows. That is bad news for the Evil Empire. That's why Bill Gates is looking to third world countries like India to recruit new converts. He wants to convert poor, illiterate Indians to the religion of Microsoft, give them a job at Microsoft and make them write the next generation of Windows OS. Got it? That is the sinister game plan of Bill Gates.
Can you believe they do not teach even a single UNIX course at Microsoft - such bigoted, narrow-minded people? The Microsoft engineers think their technology is the best. They always look down on SUN employees. These wretched people do not believe in the power of UNIX or Linux. They do not even support JAVA that is designed to run on all platforms. SUN proposed JAVA as the sanathana computer language that will run on all platforms providing the same interface to programmers everywhere. But Microsoft does not support it. Why? That's because Microsoft is run by a bunch of narrow-minded bigots who do not believe in sanathana language. SUN was started by Bharath puthra (son of India) Vinod Kosla. He named the company after Surya - the sun god (but of course to please the white people in the US he said that SUN means Stanford University Network.). So we patriotic Indians should adopt only the sanathana technology (which involves open architecture and open standards) propagated by SUN. We should not fall prey to Microsoft's exclusive technology. First they killed open CORBA technology with COM and now they are killing JAVA with C#. We need to fight these bigoted people tooth and nail.
The whole evil plot was uncovered first by Saffron Shaka Sainik, who did an exhaustive analysis of Microsoft CEO's name. It is not by accident that he is called Bill Gates? His first name is Bill because it stands for dollar bills - money. So there you have it, Microsoft is in it for the money. Also the last name - Gates refers to the concept of "pearly gate to heaven" and the "gates of hell" in Christian religion. That establishes Microsoft's connection to the Vatican. The psuedo-secular English media like Indian Express, The Hindu, Hindustan Times, Outlook India etc of course suppressed this truth.
For the prevention and cure of AIDS in India, I strongly suggest that India follow the strategy proposed by our great patriotic in-border cultural terrorists Sudarshana et al. The Saffron Al-Quaeda namely the RSS/VHP has the right indigenous, Indian solution to this western disease of AIDS. Our leaders have proposed that we treat AIDS patients as UNTOUCHABLES. We should not allow them to come inside our houses. Their shadow should not fall on us. They should not share our places of worship, recreation, entertainment etc. If they want they can build their own place of worship. That way, we can ensure that AIDS does not spread to us. How can you expect us to touch them? After all we committed less sins than these AIDS patient in our previous birth. Ask our Kanchi and Puri Sankaracharyas and they will expound the meanings of Vedas and Shastras to explain this great truth in their own devious way. India has a rich history. We do not need western thought to corrupt our Indian way of life that dates back to thousands of years. We do not need western medicines to cure AIDS.
Our own M M Joshi is ordering NCERT to include portions in out school textbooks that says that AIDS existed in India way back. The founder of "Sword of Fibs and Fantasies", Nalayak Rajaram has done an archeological study of the dumpster in his backyard and come to a firm conclusion that Columbus set out to discover India so Christian Spain could dump all its AIDS victims into India. The history written by the White man will tell you that Columbus discovered America and not India, but that is a lie. Our own Nalayak Rajaram unearthed that Columbus did discover India and dumped all AIDS victims into India. So our ancient sage Manu had to come up with a solution to tackle this AIDS problem even before US was founded. Hence, in Manu Smriti, he proposed the solution of UNTOUCHABILITY to prevent the spread of AIDS. Now our honorable HRD minister M M Joshi is making this information a compulsory read in our History textbooks. But the commies and pinkos are raising a hue and cry over this matter. Instead of legalizing the practice of UNTOUCHABILITY as a preventive measure against the spread of AIDS, they are talking rubbish like violation of human rights of AIDS patients etc. The pinkos are just spoiling India's image abroad! That's the only contribution they are making towards India.
Coming to our Indian solution to AIDS problem: now that AIDS patients have been isolated from the mainstream society, just to be humane and help them survive, we will allow them do menial jobs for us. That is the true way of salvation for all AIDS patients. Anyway since AIDS patients die soon, we do not need to worry about their rights, comforts, needs, hopes, dreams, visions etc. By practicing untouchability against AIDS patients we can prevent the spread of AIDS in India. See how we solved AIDS problem with absolutely no budget using an ancient Indian solution without Microsoft's dollars? Ancient India has solutions to all problems.
We should not allow Bill Gates to help AIDS patients by providing them relief. He is in it for popularity. He is in it to convert all these illiterate souls to become Microsoft programmers and users. It is all a number games here. I was talking to a Microsoft employee who is a Mallu and he says that the people who spread awareness of AIDS in India are given $8.00 per person they educate. That's the current going rate. They first target the HP-Unix (HPUX) users because they are easier to convert. Can you believe it? Everyone is in it for the money. This will become a family business in India if we allow this to continue. The carrot and stick strategy adopted by Microsoft will cause many who do not have any sense of pride in their heritage and culture to become Microsoft users. Thankfully the Saffron Taliban namely the BJP is lending a great helping hand in blocking Bill Gates. Our own Union Health Minister Shatrughan Sinha who is a graduate in foolishness has buried his head in the sand to the AIDS problem and given a firm NO to Bill Gates. We need such fearless leaders in India.
So I say: Let loose the Saffron Street Dogs of the RSS kind on Bill Gates so that he will be driven back to America. Let him find Microsoft converts from people in the west. And let Saffron cultural terrorists like Francois into India to screw India to poverty and hell.
Jai Hind! Jai Bharat Mata! Vande Matharam!
PS: Please feel free to donate Microsoft stocks towards our Saffron Shaka fund. SUN's stock is only $2 now and is fast becoming worthless. Microsoft stock is valued more than SUN stocks in our Saffron Shakas! If you know of a Microsoft employee, recruit him into Saffron Shaka so he will donate Microsoft stocks.


RECENTLY ON JAAL:

Hello? Wrong Number
A Man Of Many Masks
The Mathematics Of Gujarat
Yeh Dil Maange Less
Valentine's Daze
The God Of Fried Things
Kabhi Mushy, Kabhi Rough
The Worst Of 2001
Omni-Laden
The New ISI Chief Is A Pathan!!
Osama And Veerappan
The US Strikes Out
Bush Talks Tough
TN Wants A New CEO
Code Red And The Blue Book
Sucking Up To Musharraf
The Tamasha In Tamil Nadu
The Agra Assignment
Going Ape Over Kashmir
Bad Dream Factory
Ballot Boxing
Borderline Patriotism
Bill Clinton's Hidden Agenda
The Tapes: Replay
The Naked Truth About Sinha's Dream Budget
Give Us This Day Our Daily Disaster
A Dip Into The Kumbh
Hype Hype Hurray
The A 2 Z Of Y2K
What's Behind Bush?
The Florida Ceasefire
The Damn Dam Controversy
A Weak-Kneed Operation
Faster, Higher, Stranger
You Have The Right To Be A Volunteer
The ICE ICE Baby
A Tale Of The Jungle King
The Secret Autonomy Report Report
When Batsman Became Betsman
India's Human Genome Projectile
Stone Age Flaws In ICE Age Laws
A Dry Spell For Policy Planning
Lara's Theme
Dotcom Bubble Gum: Burst Or Bust
Inside A VIP Cell
A To Do About Dos
A Dress Code For Klintonji