My fellow countrymen,
I wish to heartily congratulate you on reaching 2004. When we started 2003, we certainly did not believe that we would succeed in achieving this daunting goal. But, as always, we have made it through another year.
As you all know I am going to Pakistan to attend a summit. I don’t know why they call it a summit, but I always return feeling a little peaked. Of course, with my weak knees, any uphill climb is always difficult, so I always focus on the downside.
As you may be aware, I am probably going to meet Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf in Islamabad. I go to meet him with open arms and an empty head. We will try our utmost to resolve the crucial Kashmir issue. Our negotiations till now have shown us the way forward. The way forward is to forget that Kashmir exists, or, alternately, to rename it. We are still trying to come up with a good new name. My colleague Murli Manohar Joshiji suggests that we call it Iraq and then the Pakis will refuse to send their troops in. As always, the wisdom of Murliji is unquestionable, he has consulted all the astrological charts.
Anyway, I cannot understand why the Pakis keep harping upon Kashmir as the “central issue”. They have no sense of geography. Kashmir is in the North, the only central issue was Madhya Pradesh and we settled it favourably enough, enough to cow down Digvijay Singh, enough to milk the voter.
Of course, this is the last time I am saying that this is the last time that we seeking peace with Pakistan. I hope this time it will last. Because I’m really worried about what the Pakis will do with their nuclear arms. Of course, I have confidence in our Defence Minister George Fernandes’ abilities. Which reminds me that he shouldn’t be allowed to handle the contract for building the Prime Ministerial nuclear bunker.
This will also be a significant year for us not only because the wretched Indian tour to Australia will finally be over. It will also be important because we have to face the great Indian electorate in the general elections. We are very confident that our efforts over the last five years will bear fruit, hopefully not a lemon. But we have recently won three state Assembly elections and this gives us a lot of confidence. The trends have clearly shown that the voters seem to prefer a woman leader, look at Vasundhararaje Scindia, Uma Bharati, even Sheila Dikshit. I must clarify here that Sonia Gandhi cannot be counted as a woman because she’s Italian. I must also remember to warn Sushma of this irksome habit of lurking around my chair and dropping large hints.
I am also thinking of sending Lal Krishna Advaniji and Narendra Modi on yet another rath yatra, anything to keep them as far away as possible.
Jaswant Singhji’s India Shining campaign shows the buoyancy in the Indian economy, the rupee is floating, we are all in deep waters. And we will not give up. Jaswant Singhji has promised another normal Budget this year, though with his heavy accent I’m not sure if he said “normal” or “nominal”.
I must go now, the New Year is upon us and we must make plans to see whether we can make it to 2005.
Yours,
As always,
Atal