So, hey, Pakistani hero Abdul Qadeer Khan has admitted that he spent most of his time peddling nuclear technology to rogue regimes anywhere. Does that surprise you? Not us. Anyway, the conversation between Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf and Khan which ended in the former forgiving the nuclear retailer, was never officially revealed. But that room was bugged. Not an ordinary bug, but a real live beetle with a recorder. So, the buggers got bugged and we got the transcript, right here:

Musharaff: Why in God’s name did you build a mansion in Timbuktu?
Khan: Didn’t think anyone would look there, didn’t think too many people believe such a place actually exists.
Musharraf: That’s the problem you don’t think and now the US is on my ass.
Khan: Yes, you ass and mine. They’re making asses of us all and what for? Just some simple atomic bums...er…bombs.
Musharraf: Now why couldn’t you have been more careful about selling the technology? Khan: But I was very careful, I only sold it to those who want to destroy civilization.
Musharraf: That’s not good enough, you should have kept it a secret.
Khan: I kept it a secret from you, no? (Snickers)
Musharraf: Everybody knew, the janitor here told me how you were off to Iraq, trying to get Saddam interested. What went wrong?
Khan: Saddam liked it all right but they couldn’t afford it. They wanted a bulk discount. I offered that to them, five bombs for the price of one, but then they found out I was selling them to Iran at the same time.
Musharraf: But why North Korea?
Khan: Because the Chinese told me to, after all, after I stole the original blueprints from Holland, I needed someone to tell me what they meant and the Chinkies helped out.
Musharraf: But, seriously, you should have kept it quiet. Why did you go around opening stores in Dubai, named Abdul’s Nuclear Bazaar? Didn’t you think that would make the Americans suspect something?
Khan: I didn’t think they were that smart. But I think the CIA really got on my tail when I started advertising the garage sale of nuclear devices on Ebay.
Musharraf: Yes, yes, but now what am I to do?
Khan: What if I confess?
Musharraf: Confess to what? Everybody already knows.
Khan: Except the Americans. Yes, but a confession will make the Americans happy.
Musharraf: And then what do I do? I may have to send you to jail.
Khan: No jail for me, thanks. Pakistan is bad enough. You’ll just have to pardon me.
Musharraf: Why should I forgive you?
Khan: For one thing, everyone in the Army, you included got your cut from my fantastic marketing ability. Has Pakistan ever been able to export anything else? Other than terrorism?
Musharraf: That’s right. You’re not going to tell anyone about the transfers to my Swiss bank accounts will you?
Khan: No, not even about Begum’s accounts or the St Kitt’s accounts that your poodles have.
Musharraf: Thank God, I was worried there for a while. Anyway, don’t do it again.
Khan: No, I won’t sell any more nuclear secrets.
Musharraf: What will you do?
Khan: What every good entrepreneur does, branch out, start selling biological and chemical weapons…