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There have been living a largest democracy (aka The Largest Singh) and a longest democracy (aka The Longest Sam) in our strange political world. The longest Sam who has always ignored the largest Singh suddenly decides to discover the latter. There is a background to this discovery. The largest Sam has been seeing a dragon-like apparition for sometime now. This stubborn ghost keeps coming and coming (especially after the ‘iron curtain’ was removed and the ‘rising sun’ went into recession). So the longest Sam desperately tries to find an exorcist, who could deal with this ghost locally and stop it from coming to his shores. Finally, the longest Sam finds an exorcist, the largest Singh with many a trick under his turban and with all the potentials (and even some vague aspirations) to be able to ‘come’ himself at some distant future point. So the longest Sam designs a strategy! Tie up the stubborn apparition and the supple exorcist together. So neither of them will be coming! At least for sometime!  The largest Singh (exorcist) has indeed had a confrontation with this dragon-like apparition once before and still fosters some ill-will. However, he is more worried about the next-door sorcerer, Hush-Mush-Sharaf who keeps directing little demons and devils to his door. So the largest Singh creates a few blood-sucking parasitic vampires called Bomb-Iyers. Not to be let down in the tussle, Hush-Mush-Sharaf, the sorcerer, creates his own killer conman, Bomb-Sell Khan. Strangely enough, BS Khan has the blessings of the dragon-ghost while his necromancer boss keeps in touch with the longest Sam. So our largest Singh is caught up in a mess now: Bomb-Sell Khan bobs round and round And the dragon dances all around. The longest Sam’s watching on the WH-mount; And the Bomb-Iyers nag and nag for more amount. The Bomb-Iyers have been promising radically big and radiantly (or radioactively?) bright things that could stop the BS Khans, scare away the Beijing ghost, make the largest Singh look like the longest Sam, and even secure him a place in history, in future, in the history of future, in the future of history, and all at the same time. Alas, Bomb-Iyers turn out to be idle extortionists. They keep asking for more money, more time, more secrecy, more laws, more (foreign) help, more patience, more waste, more, more, more. In the meantime, the demons still keep coming (albeit in smaller numbers) and the dragon continues to haunt. As the going gets tough in CD (Capital Delhi), the largest Singh goes to DC. In DC, the longest Sam plots a strategy: Hmm…how about I give the largest Singh the technology vampire Just as my good ol’ Brit cousins threw his textile knowledge into bonfire. That will certainly pull the rug under the feet of Bomb-Iyers And give me complete control to tie ‘em all up with just one coir. The longest Sam screams at the top of his voice: “Now Clear…Now Clear…New Clear …Nucular!” Sam beckons Singh; Singh obliges Sam. The largest democracy and the longest democracy meet! In a totally undemocratic manner, of course! The largest Singh had not taken his people into confidence before giving up his independence in important policy matters. Similarly, the longest Sam has had no consultations with his people or policymakers or foreign friends (and fiends). Having agreed upon something (only portions of which have been shared with their respective popular and representative constituencies), the longest Sam and the largest Singh are going back to work - to make the deal democratic. With hands around each other, they mutter in unison: “Strange workings of the democratic spirit!” And the people in the largest Singh’s native land who have been trying to get rid of the parasitic Bomb-Iyers and their ‘vegetarian’ and ‘non-vegetarian’ nuclear diets look all worried. Do Singh and Sam do something about this nuclear menace? The largest Singh and the longest Sam swing their bottoms crooning: “Doomed If We Do, Doomed If We Don’t.” Dr SP Udayakumar, one of the Coordinators of the People’s Movement Against Nuclear Energy (PMANE), is a freelance writer based in Nagercoil, Tamil Nadu. He can be contacted through email drspudayakumar@yahoo.com. Send Jaal Your Feedback. RECENTLY ON JAAL: Mush Mush Pakistan Adolfvani Worm In The Apple Modi's Operandi Sania Mania The Exclusive Ash Interview A Time To Care The Jaal Anniversary Giveaway 10 Reasons India Lost To Oz Calling Pakistan A Day In The Life Of Manmohan Singh Airstrip Tease The Jaal Exit Poll Vajpayee, Musharraf Quit! 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